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A Life of Honest Connection

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dating in Los Angeles Sucks! (A throwback blog from 2008)

I first posted this blog on MySpace, the wasteland of Social Media, and found it just today. . . reposting it here . . .

This evening at the swanky restaurant I work at I waited on what I thought was an average couple. It quickly turned into the strangest situation. Now, for those of you that don't know, where I work is a pretty swanky restaurant located in a fancy Hotel on a famous street in Los Angeles, READ EXPENSIVE. The kind of place I couldn't dine at without my 30% employee discount.

So, an average couple, I figured they knew each other, seemed to be having a good time. Their entrees arrive and they decide to go to the bathroom. They use the facilities and when I come back to the table, only the lady is there. I ask how everything is and she proceeds to tell me that she is on a first date with this gentleman and is really thrown by the fact that he just left her at the table. I asked if he had gone to the restroom, or what ? and she said that they had just visited the restroom. She surmised that he could be making a business phone call, since he is an extremely important business man, this was very important to her, she mentioned it many times. Still, she decided that this may be her issue and she was going to try and let it go because he was such a great catch and was a VERY IMPORTANT business man.

He returned to the table and I left. My manager approached me and mentioned that this man had come up to him and said he was on a first date and they were supposed to go to the STANDARD, but she had wanted to come here and HE DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR HIS CHECK. He was going through divorce and his credit cards were a mess. . . etc. My manager asked what the difference was and he said prob like $20. So my kind manager said, ok, when the check comes, put what you have in it, and we will talk then. He said he had $150. His check at this point was about $185.

The meal ended and I tried to stay away from the table and switched them to ice water, etc. I checked on them and she said she might have another glass of wine... if he would have another drink, He then LOOKED AT ME AND SAId, "I don't know should I have another drink." Like, wink, wink, you'll have to comp it. I said, 'I don't know. ' THEN HE ORDERED ANOTHER DRINK!!!! ANOTHER ROUND!!! HE ALREADY DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY HIS BILL. NOW, his bill is $220.

So, I finally dropped the check and ran. He then asked for a manager, while he was up at the front of the restaurant I went to talk to the lady with the intention of telling her how full of shit this guy was. . . She was all smiles. Turns out after he returned the first time she told him that she was bothered that he left her at the table and he fed her some bullshit that he went to meet the OWNER of the hotel, because he is a big business man and he needs to do things like that! SERIOUSLY, she bought it. THEN as he is negotiating payment he doesn't have, she thinks he is talking to the manager about ordering dessert and another glass of wine because they didn't realize the kitchen had closed. She thought he was being a huge hero by getting her a "special wine" and getting her dessert. While really, he was negotiating with my manager, leaving his drivers license, a check, and $100 saying he would come by tomorrow and pay for it. RETARDED>

I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her the truth. I sort of feel that it is her fault she is in that situation. If she wasn't so obsessed with how much money he made, would she see through the lies?!

How desperate for love and companionship is she that she will wear blinders to create the perfect man?!

It really is the City of Lost Angels. 


Friday, September 16, 2011

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

     Once you get past a certain age you don't necessarily get to have a Summer Vacation, time keeps ticking, days keep flying and before you know it you didn't even have time to buy a new bathing suit. I managed to remedy this situation for myself this summer. How can one do that you ask? Let me paint a lovely picture.
      It was a lovely summer day in Pueblo, CO, the 4th of July actually. I happened to be in town for the wedding of one of my best friends from college and thought I should use this time to see my family and enjoy a national holiday that I usually spend working. In the summer my family is super fancy and we set up an above ground swimming pool to relax and cool down on hot Pueblo days. Take that Jones'. With a small group of family members on hand we settled into a relaxing day sunning and sipping on some cold beers, anticipating the delicious burger that would come later in the day.
      My mom made homemade Peach ice cream in our ice cream maker just like when we were kids. You know the ice cream maker that makes that reeerrrraarr  reeeerrrraaarrr sound and every 20 seconds the ice jams and you have to frantically pull the cord out of the wall and un-stick it. I actually chose to rock a bikini for the first time in my life. I've always been too shy and too insecure about my body to do it, but I figured if I couldn't rock it in front of my family then who could I rock it in front of? Might as well take it for a test run.
      I was being especially cautious of getting a sunburn because I had to change my flight home to return early because I had a callback for a TIDE commercial. I was especially excited about this because it was my first commercial auditions in a few months and with my new agent! I asked my dad for a hat, applied tons of sunscreen and made sure to take breaks from the sun to protect my delicate skin.
      When my family gets together we have more fun than most best friends, laughter abounds and hijinks ensue. For example, in the picture below, Sara strategically dumped Jen as Tony snapped this picture! Disaster was averted as Jen managed to save the beer from drowning.
    We were all home for Memorial Day Weekend as well and since the pool hadn't been set up yet my sister Ashley went and bought a kiddie pool and a Slip N Slide. Of course, we decided it wouldn't be a holiday weekend without some water balloons and a Slip n Slide. Here's the thing, I didn't participate in the Slip n Slide madness on Memorial Day. I wish I could say the same about the 4th of July. As the day progressed we migrated from the pool over to the now infamous Slip n Slide, which are much fancier than when we were kids. It used to be a piece of yellow plastic that you put on the lawn with the hose resting on the end of it. When you ran and hurled your body onto the Slip n Slide you had to be careful not to hit the head of the hose on your way down. Kids today have it easy, man when did I get so old, I used to walk to school, uphill, barefoot in the snow, Ha! The Slip N Slides today are FANCY. You hook the hose up to a nozzle in the Slip N Slide and it shoots a waterfall of water down the runway that ends in a little kiddie pool of its own. AND it comes with an inflatable Slide Boogie that you can use to break your fall from air to plastic.
The Culprit     
      The thing about playing on a Slip n Slide as an adult is that you get bored easily just running and sliding on your stomach. Sooner rather than later you find yourself attempting a barrel roll or trying to slide backwards. Or, eventually, you do what I did, you cartwheel, then leap sideways and slide, ala Tom Cruise in "Risky Business".

      Tom Cruise definitely had a more graceful ending than I did. As I slid down the Slip n Slide post cartwheel I suddenly stopped, my left ankle turned a few ways it shouldn't go and I went down screaming. I looked down and my foot was facing a way you never, ever want to see your foot go. I instinctively reached down and pushed my foot the other way and felt a few bones move. Luckily for me, the emergency response of my family is incredibly fast. My new-found friend Rick, sat on the Slip n Slide with my head in his lap, stroking my face, calming me down as Sara held my hand. I was incredibly proud that in the midst of all this trauma I cracked a little joke, telling Rick, "It's nice to meet you, Rick." My physical therapist mother and firefighter father came out and assessed the situation as my mother so astutely responded, "We've gotta go to the hospital Bill." In the blink of an eye, my cousin Liberty ran and fetched my wallet, Sara threw her dress over my head, my Mom splinted the break with the inflatable Slide Boogie and some tape, my Dad and Brother brought over a chair, lifted me into the chair, carried me to the car that Liberty had pulled around, with pillows in the back seat and they loaded me into Ambulance de Liberty and before I knew it I was screaming at my mother who was simply trying to put me into a wheelchair to get me into the E.R.
    I don't think I have ever been in that amount of pain nor do I ever want to experience that again AND I had had a few beers by then. God help the person who has to experience that pain sober.  In fact I used one curse word so many times in the E.R. that my mom finally turned to me and said, "Find a new word!" I won't walk you through the rest of the experience though I did get the opportunity to be weighed like a dolphin! When I announced that to my family as they arrived to visit me later they just thought I was hopped up on morphine, but I swear the nurse told me that when they weighed me. Oh well, at least she didn't say this is how you weigh a whale?!
Oliver keeps me company in the hospital!

     I somehow managed to pull off a trimalleolar fracture breaking 3 bones where they connect at the ankle and dislocating it. We had to wait for the food and alcohol to get out of my system before I could go into surgery, but alas, by that time my foot was too swollen. I was sent home with a splint and 3 broken bones. I flew home to Los Angeles with my Mom in time to film a short film I had booked prior to the accident. Flying with a broken bone is fun in the sense that you get to be wheeled all around the airport and cut straight in front of people in the security line. It's not fun once you start gaining altitude, but I made it home and made it through the film shoot. On July 15th I went to the hospital and finally had surgery. I am now the proud owner of some plates and pins in my left foot and will only accept being called a Bionic woman from now on.
   It's been a little over two months since this happened and I'm getting there. I think I will save what I've learned from Life on Crutches for another blog. There's something to be said about losing your freedom of movement and having to slow down your life and take some time for yourself. Lessons to be learned everywhere. If I learned anything its that God will strike you down if you choose to rock a bikini!  ; )



Needless to say I missed that callback for TIDE. . .  I didn't get sunburned though!