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A Life of Honest Connection
Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label integrity. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

21 Days of Financial Honesty -- Shattering Integrity and Your Money

Day 3 and Day 4.



So easy to slide back into old patterns, that's why I'm doing this for 21 days, because they say it takes 21 days to form a habit. I did not look at my account yesterday. Doh. Nothing catastrophic happened, but its something I want to put into practice everyday. Not only does it give me more control over my money, but it also allows me to make sure that no one has committed fraud with my Debit card #. Apparently Visa just had a bunch of credit card numbers stolen because just a few days ago I got a new debit card in the mail just in case my # was one of the stolen cards. Looking at my account everyday enables me to make sure that there are no transactions on my account that I did not make. I was actually a victim of fraud earlier this year and luckily the Credit Union was on top of it and called me, right away, on a Sunday to double check and see if I've made three purchases at the KMart in Valencia. To which I would like to say to the people who committed the fraud and copied my debit card, Don't be an IDIOT. . . three purchases in one place, one right after the other is a RED FLAG. . .  sheesh. At least they're morons.

I have recently made the realization that I can not generate abundance in my life if its not on the up and up. That's where the integrity part of this blog comes in today. In 2007 and 2008 I went to a shady tax man. Everyone at my work had utilized him and some had been audited, but it didn't seem like a big deal. I chose to use him for those tax years because I work at a high end restaurant and we used to get paid in cash. While we reported all of the money we made, there was never enough to take out of our paychecks, which consisted only of the hourly $8.25 rate we made for the 25- 30 hours a week we worked. In order to avoid having to pay taxes I went to a shady tax man. BAD CALL. I now know that if my brain knows its not in integrity I will create problems for myself.

I was audited and am currently paying back over $4000 that I owe to the IRS and the State of California for those years. Here's the thing, it just wasn't worth it. I only got back maybe $600 one of the years and not much more the others. To be honest if I had ended up paying the taxes that i owed it probably would have been a fraction of the money I'm now paying back, but a scorned IRS does not like to play nice. I tried to argue with them for a few years and after sending endless amounts of paperwork back and forth I finally caved and said, forget it, its worth more of my peace of mind to simply straighten it out.

The tax man was not without fault because besides taking some crazy deductions, that I just didn't pay attention to . . . once again, checked out, disconnected and just HOPING that things would pan out. . . I also think he made a mistake on one of the years and somehow counted my income as $88,000 instead of $44,000. No matter how many times I asked about it he never really understood what I was saying.

Perhaps I could have gone a different route and hired a tax attorney to help me work it out, but like I said after the two year battle and then constant self-punishment for using a shady tax man I just resolved myself to owning up to it and paying it back.

A lesson learned that I won't soon forget. If its not in integrity, even if it seems lucrative in the moment and I could desperately use the money, I probably shouldn't do it, because inevitably its going to come back and bite me in the arse.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Shattering what Happened to Integrity, Virtue and the Value of Your Word?!

Yesterday on my drive home from work I was listening to the news on NPR. They were talking about the verdict that was reached in the Dharun Ravi trial, the former Rutgers student who used a webcam to watch and broadcast his roommate, Tyler Clementi's romantic night with another man. Shortly after doing this, Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge to his death. It's becoming an all too familiar story about bullying and gay students giving up on themselves and choosing to end their lives.

The report said that Ravi had sent Tweets and text messages to fellow students when his roommate asked to be alone in the room, expressing his disgust with his roommates choice to make out with another man. In a Twitter post, Ravi wrote, "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay." He then used the webcam to invite others to video chat him and check out the action themselves as he streamed live from the webcam again. All of this is horrific enough, leading to the fact that it drove Tyler to commit suicide is even more heartbreaking. The thing that struck me the most about this story is that as the reporter wrapped it up they said that Ravi's parents whisked him out of the courtroom, showing no emotion, and that they will be appealing the verdict.

APPEAL the VERDICT?! How can you possibly? What happened to Integrity? To Virtue? To the Value of your word? Ravi was found guilty by a jury, and there were great amounts of physical evidence that he did all of the things he was accused of. There are text messages, Tweets and evidence that he attempted to delete the damning evidence after Tyler committed suicide. What happened to owning up to a mistake? To saying, I'm sorry, I messed up and to actually facing the consequences of your actions? If its printed in black and white that you actually did these things, you actually wrote all of these hateful things, encouraged others to do the same and it ended in an unfortunate way, WHY WOULD YOU THEN TRY TO APPEAL the sentence? You DID all of these things.

I don't think that Ravi alone is to blame here. What happened to all of the other people in the world willing to stand up for what's right? What happened to his friend Molly that was in the room when he streamed the live webcam? What were all of those students thinking who tuned in to watch? How is it possible that no one thought that Tyler deserved defending? The breach of privacy alone should have triggered some personal alarms for these college kids shouldn't they? Is this the society that we live in now? Is this what happens when every personal moment is recorded for the entire world to see on FB and Twitter? That a breach of privacy like this seems like its a run of the mill, everyday occurrence? Like violence in video games and movies are we becoming desensitized to how people should be treated? The basic right that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors and not just in Vegas?

There are so many systems that failed here. As fashion, TV and movies throw back to the retro age, a simpler time, I encourage everyone to remember what Integrity is. To remember what it was to be virtuous. To value your word.  I know that its not popular to speak out against your peers but its time to make these old fashioned values hip again.

Find a way to marry that in your life and then we can worry about whether or not the gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage, because from where I'm standing right now, basic human decency is more important than the sanctity of marriage. It's time to go back to standing up for what's right and speaking up when you see something that is not.

integrity |inˈtegritē|
noun
1 the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness : he is known to be a man of integrity.

virtue |ˈvər ch oō|
noun
1 behavior showing high moral standards : paragons of virtue. See note at goodness .
• a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person : patience is a virtue.

value |ˈvalyoō|
noun
1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something : your support is of great value.

Here's a link to a news article referencing what I'm talking about.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/dharun-ravi-guilty-invasion-privacy-counts-rutgers-spying-case-article-1.1040776