The Vulnerability of Crowd Funding.

Recently I came across a TED talk by Brene Brown on Facebook that one of my friends had posted. I often turn on TED talks while I am doing something else, but Brene's resonated so deeply with me that I quickly found myself just listening to her talk, The Power of Vulnerability.  I've never heard of anyone like Brene Brown. She actually studies human connection for a living. She investigates vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame and how they affect human connection. Human connection is something that I think about often and its a driving force behind why I want to make films, act and tell stories. Connection, human connection, is important and the future of humanity is going to rely on it.

I quickly found Brene's second TED Talk, Listening to Shame, which led me to buying her book, "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead." I'm only 3 chapters into her book and I've already been blown away multiple times. As I sat and composed another email asking for people to support my Crowd Funding campaign I had an AHA moment. Putting myself out there and asking people to support art that I have yet to create may be the most vulnerable thing I've ever done.

Vulnerability has got to be one of the most terrifying human emotions. Vulnerability is often perceived as weakness. Brene defines vulnerability as " uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." In Brene's book, she says, "To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation -- that's also vulnerability." I'm an actor, I write and now I produce projects. I'm used to putting vulnerability out in the world. If you've read my blog at all, you know that I often share things that most people wouldn't tell their best friends. I know that in order to connect you have to be vulnerable. That doesn't make it any easier. I've struggled with it in acting class and had Dee Wallace screaming at me, "If you want to act, you have to bare your soul. The reason people love actors is because they allow real vulnerability to be seen in every moment." (She doesn't scream very loudly and she's actually quite nice.)

To ask for help is one of the greatest ways to make yourself vulnerable. With my crowd funding campaign for my short film, "Tactics", I've hit the vulnerability jackpot. Not only am I asking for help, I'm asking you to support my art before its become a full fledged vision. Its one thing to make it, put it out in the world, and let people judge it. Its quite another to ask for help before there's anything to show for it. I have the script written, I have a very talented director, J.T. Mollner on board to helm the film and I know that its going to be great.

That doesn't make it any easier to reach out consistently, daily, numerous times a day to ask for help, to ask people to support your dreams.

The outpouring of support that I have received has been amazing. I have received donations from people that I would have never guessed would donate to my film. I've gotten amazing letters, notes of support and FB posts from old friends reaching out, telling me they are proud of me, and admire that I'm actually living my dreams, pursuing my passion and honoring my creativity. Its inspiring, comforting and just plain nice to hear.

Within the support there have also been numerous questions asked by friends, acquaintances, strangers. "Why do you need so much money?" "You can make a short film for less than that." "Why would you pay yourself to make a film that you're asking people to donate money to?" (If I do this as a SAG project, I would technically pay myself as the actress in the film). With every question I have been forced to look at myself and re-evaluate whether I have the right to ask for this amount of money, any money, the ability to make movies at all. I know that some of these questions come from my own hesitations and doubt, from being raised in a family that taught me not to ask for money from friends ever, from the vulnerability of putting myself out to the world and asking for help. I don't like asking for help. I don't like being in a state of weakness, which is how I would have perceived vulnerability before I came across Brene Brown. I know now that asking for help, standing in my power and knowing that my art, my creativity is worth the effort is actually strength and power.

I made a short film last year that won awards on the festival circuit and actually have that experience under my belt. J.T. has multiple films under his belt that have won mulitple awards and received distribution. I know that I have knowledge and the ability to see this film through to fruition!

I know that the amount of people that seem to be crowd funding these days can sometimes be overwhelming but the next time you come across some one's crowd funding campaign remember how much vulnerability and risk went into them being able to ask you for help. We live in an incredible world where you can actually contribute to films, albums and art projects that you want to see, that resonate with you or that open your hearts. We are in the midst of watching the world of creativity change! "Veronica Mars", a TV show that has a cult following recently blew everyone away when they set a goal of raising $2 million in order to make the movie version of the TV show and in less than 5 hours they had raised $1 million dollars and in 11 hours hit their goal of $2 million dollars! They currently have over $4.5 million dollars raised and a few days left to go! Incredible!

Today there are 12 days left in my campaign on PasserBy. I'm almost half way to my goal. I want to hit my goal. I know I'm worth trusting and knowing that I can hit my goal.

From the bottom of my heart, in gratitude and love, thank you for allowing me to show you my vulnerability and for trusting that I know what to do with it.

If you want to help "Tactics" and me hit my goal, please donate here! Passer.by/films/tactics

Here's to DARING GREATLY!!

My IMDB page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2235318/
J.T. Mollner's IMDB Page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2356768/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
"Just Like the Movies" on YouTube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9iATP1xMuM

A RESPONSE TO : Can Hollywood Shatter its "Blockbuster" Image and help Heal and Change the world?

This was written by my cousin Liberty. I appreciate all of the thought and time she put into this!
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I apologize in advance. I started responding to your blog and got a little out of control. My response is more of a blog of my own, but I’ve been thinking a lot about your question from last week. I have not been able to come up with a single movie that changed the world or had a positive effect on society, at least not directly. However, I don’t think that is the point. I cannot think of any direct, positive effect Beethoven or Shakespeare or Strauss or Bronte had on their own societies. But their impact and legacy is still shaping both individuals and society today. Ultimately, the question is: what is the value of storytelling and how has film contributed to the human storybook?

Archeologists tell us that humans have always told stories. I wasn’t there, so I am not sure, but the few cave drawings I’ve seen seem to prove that early story tellers moved to visual media quickly. An image conveys an experience when language fails us – therein lies the possible potency of photograph and filmmaking. We have a rich history of tales and tunes, of drawings and carvings that document the human experience. Isn’t that really what movies are about? Whether reenacting or inspiring action, they are about the sharing the human experience.

Movies can be escapist and trite and pure popcorn – empty as air. But the same mindless humor of The Other Guys can be the one-liner that bonds two new friends or breaks the ice at an awkward dinner party. We are banded together and given a common vocabulary. Who in our generation hasn’t talked for hours with someone that quoted Will Farrell at a bar or made an off-hand Judd Apatow reference at a friend’s BBQ? Somewhere in America, someone just compared their job to Office Space and the cultural shorthand allowed the entire room to empathize. Each Halloween the costumes demonstrate that film characters and costumes are iconic.

Movies can grant you a reprieve. Laughter is the best medicine and we all need a good cry now and again. I often walk out of a theater feeling refreshed and reinvigorated. Rarely is this because of the movie itself, but because I was able to finally laugh out loud at the end of a tough week. If others have the same reaction, isn’t the decrease in stress a betterment to society? Don’t we all need a little Tina Fey in our day?

Movies can throw light on something you may have let slip into shadow. You may want to call your grandma after The Proposal or break-up with your boyfriend after 500 Days of Summer. Would you have waited another week without an nudge from the film? We can never know what cautionary tale someone may take from the coffee shop conversation in the next romantic comedy or gory death scene from the next action flick – but someone, somewhere, may finally decide that they must get off the couch and take up kick-boxing. Who isn’t better off with a little cardio in their life?

Movies can make us feel less alone. Romantic comedies and buddy films, family dramas and angstful indies all seek to capture the relationships and routines we deal with everyday. Audiences see they are not the only one eating take out over the sink or losing touch with their kids. The film may provide a road map to resolve these issues or give stellar examples of what not to do, but at least they say hey, someone out there is struggling with this, too. Watching a big Hollywood star trip over herselves helps us to laugh at our own follies. Watching the everyman character tackle extraordinary events gives us something priceless, hope. If Tom Hanks can do it, I can too.

Movies can teach us about the world we don’t see in our backyard. Your blog on this subject captures some of this I think. The Blind Side, a book first, and the real actions of a real family before that, exposed the world to events that should be celebrated. It is not the actual film that bettered the world, but it certainly drew attention to positive action, and by doing so likely encouraged some of the audience to change their own ideas and lives. Lean on Me, Stand and Deliver, Extraordinary Measures, Milk, Take the Lead, Gorillas in the Mist, Norma Rae, Glory, Iron Jawed Angels - Just a few movies that share the dedication and efforts of the few on a national scale or remind us of sacrifices made by generations past. These movies affect each individual differently, but I am sure a measureable number are inspired to look deeper or change their own actions.

Films based on a true story also serve as great tools of education. Mongol, Elizabeth, The Last King of Scotland, Letters from Iwo Jima – all tools to get students to experience the story in history. While often inaccurate, the spark of interest can be shaped to the desire to learn more of the truth. Is this different than millions of high schoolers reading Charge of the Light Brigade or Henry V? Say what you will about Titanic (and I personally have a lot of negative to say), but interest in the event, the survivors, and ocean exploration skyrocketed after the film was released. Robert Ballard’s fame increased in the same scale as Leonardo DiCaprio’s. Funding for exploration and research, for student education and museum exhibits came pouring in. (Similarly, the technology created for Avatar has already been applied to educational wildlife films). Ultimately, histories and biopics don’t change the world, but they pushed education and technology forward; they tell stories that make history, politics, or ecology come alive.

But both of the previous paragraphs involve retellings – capturing a true event and relying on those events to inspire the audience. What of fiction? Can people of our imaginations change the world? Movies, books, songs, poetry - they show us what could be. They highlight our absurdities and paint them in broad strokes where they are safer and contained, but still spark self-reflection or discussion. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner let the world watch a beloved couple experience something that may have otherwise seemed inconceivable. Yes, real families did it first, and without a script or a director, but they did not invite the public in to view it. Movies let us watch people we connect with face the unknown – and then the unknown is far less scary.

Finally, movies can truly inspire. They may not inspire a nation, or a generation, but there are people in law school now because of North Country; there are journalists who got on the student paper after Frost/Nixon or State of Play; there are students who are considering the military or becoming a historian because of Band of Brothers and The Pacific; there are people signing up for the CIA or FBI or Peace Corp or AmerCorp or engineering school or marketing programs because movies highlight careers and causes alike and people are moved to action. And some of those people will change the world.

Ultimately, movies are another tool communication, for storytelling. At their best, the unite us, educate us, inspire us, or simply elevate the level of public debate. Others, well, there is something positive in keeping the folks at Lifetime off the street and stabilizing the sale of popcorn. Right?