An Open Letter to China Grill Management as Asia de Cuba Los Angeles Closes its Doors.

The first time I stepped foot into Asia de Cuba in Los Angeles I was blown away, intimidated and excited. I first ventured into ADC in 2004 when I met a friend for dinner. The blonde wood floors, the light, airy design, all the beautiful people that were packed into the small area known as the bar waiting for a table, I immediately felt like I didn't belong, wasn't good enough, not pretty enough, you name it, INTIMIDATED. 9 years later I sit here with the opposite feeling. Asia de Cuba is one of my homes here in Los Angeles.

 In 2005 I found myself looking for a better serving gig, one that would give me the freedom to pursue my acting career, with flexibility of not only time, but my money as well. I remembered what an incredible experience I had had dining at ADC and wandered in off Sunset asking for an application. The universe aligned and a few months later I got a call. I shouldn't have been hired at ADC, not because I wasn't qualified for the job, but because at that time they ONLY hired people that were a direct reference from someone that already worked at the restaurant and I didn't have that. I've never been more excited to hear from a restaurant for a job. I missed the first call and saw the number on our Caller ID, frantic that they wouldn't call again. I anxiously awaited another phone call and when they finally called I was ecstatic. After 5 interviews (they were switching F&B directors so I had to return to meet the new one) I was hired. I spent every week after calling and asking when my training was going to start! Needless to say, the job I left, though full of amazing staff that worked there, was difficult due to demanding clientele and their imminent plan to steal my soul.

 On Day ONE of training at Asia de Cuba I knew I had been asked to be a part of something magical. Each and every one of the 4 trainers embraced this restaurant as if it were their own. I would quickly learn that this is because it is a commandment of China Grill that each and every employee take ownership of their restaurant. Our feedback was valued, listened to and treated as though we were owners in the company. Not every idea, issue or complaint was handled in the way we thought it should be, but we were heard, respected and valued in your company. I learned not to just wait tables and to serve people but rather to treat them as if they were a guest in my home commanding respect from them, but treating them as though they were very close friends and family members. We were taught not to serve customers, but people. We were challenged to speak up in the kitchen if a dish didn't turn out right, to listen to tables when they said something was wrong, to care enough to take it to the chef and make sure that the quality of food stayed the same. If we had an issue or a challenge we were allowed to speak up in Quality Circles, a bi-weekly forum where each of us got the floor, with no one allowed to respond, and were encouraged to not just complain, but to come up with a solution to the problem first.
The company motto: Have Fun and Make Money! I think this is genius! If your staff is having fun and making money, your guests are having fun and your company is making money! Simple. Logical. Real.

I've learned amazing lessons applicable to real life in the 6 Principles we all Live By,
 1. We Work as a Team
 2. We're Always Looking to Do More
 3. We Constantly Communicate with One Another
 4. We're Careful
 5. We Treat One Another With Respect
 6. We Leave Our Personal Problems at the Door.

 I feel that the lessons I've learned her are so incredible I've developed a workshop for improvisers and actors on how to be better servers!

 It is unbelievable that I have become so attached to a restaurant gig. The crazy thing is, I'm not the only one. I've worked here for 8 1/2 years and in some sense, I'm still a rookie. There are people who have been here since the beginning, all 14 years. It's a tough place to leave, not only with consistent money and happy guests, but its like ripping yourself away from family. The family of staff that has kept this thing going for the last 14 years are what have made it magical. They took the guidance, commandments and the 6 principles we live by and ran with them. Thank you for hiring all of the amazing people that I consider family.

Thank you for providing an incredible eating experience of Asian and Latin fusion, Calamari salad, Char Sui Beef Short Ribs and Cuban Opera. A guest once told me that the quality of food at ADC was better than it had to be (because of the incredible view and ambiance) but it never slipped. I can count on maybe my 2 hands and 1 foot the number of tables that didn't like the food. And in all honesty they were probably crazy.

 To all of the guests that I have had the pleasure of creating memories for, thank you. I'm as devastated as you are that there won't be an Asia de Cuba in the Mondrian hotel anymore. I have overseen numerous proposals, anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations and bachelorette parties (don't worry ladies, your secrets are safe with us). I'm devastated to think of the guests who return every year on their anniversary because, this is where he proposed, who will come next year and find that ADC and their memories will forever only be a memory.

 To everyone who has come in to eat lately and gasped in horror at the news of the closing, saying, "No, I love this place, its one of my favorites." I say to you, Where have you been the last 5 years? Our guest counts have continued to decline and business has definitely slowed down, so its not completely illogical that there would be a change in restaurants here at the Mondrian hotel. Just remember that if you love a restaurant, a store, a movie theatre, patronize it and spend money there or eventually it will go away. This is the reason I buy actual books at physical book stores because I love them so much and I don't want them all to disappear.

 Yes, we move forward and yes I will be a part of Brian Malarkey's exciting new Herringbone in the Mondrian Hotel! I know that everything I learned at Asia de Cuba will make me, make all of us that are continuing on at Herringbone, amazing servers, hosts, bartenders, assistants, runners, and chefs that will enhance and embrace our new home.

 Thank you to each and every one of my fellow ADC Los Angeles Family Members YOU are what made this job magical, fun, exciting and yes, sometimes frustrating, but we always stuck together and managed to hug it out (with much chagrin to Francine the Sexual Harassment Trainer).

China Grill, Jeffrey, Claude, Neil, Jack, John and Luke know that you have Magic in your hands and the world will be devastated if you don't bring Asia de Cuba back to the masses, OR provide us all with flights to London or Russia to enjoy the remaining Asia de Cuba's! For weeks now we have been experiencing incredible memories and endless compliments of guests who love our food and simply can't imagine a world without Avocado Fried Rice. I am one of them.

Thank you.
Elizabeth

Shattering Self- Sabotage

Self Sabotage is a bitch. We would never put up with someone else knocking us down right before we crossed a finish line, yet we do it to ourselves all the time. We get so close to a goal we can taste it and then we launch into destructive behavior that enables us to remain in our "safe, comfortable world" that we have been living just fine in. We're not necessarily super happy or thrilled with the safe, comfy place, but we're okay, we're fine, we doing alright.

Let's look at a journey I'm on right now. About 5 weeks ago I launched a HUGE goal for myself. My acting coach, Michael McCarthy, helped me to understand what a LEVERAGE goal is and its forever changed how I will look at goals. A LEVERAGE goal is one that if you succeed at accomplishing it, you will also knock down other existing goals you have. For instance, if I get down to the size 6 that I have always wanted to be, I will feel great, but I will also be in a clear category as an actress. I have always felt that I confuse casting directors, producers, directors, the people who give me the jobs, because I am too pretty to be the quirky best friend and too big to be the leading lady. I don't think this has to be the truth of me, but it sure seems to be, and I'm at this point in my life where I am READY to book commercials, acting gigs on TV and great roles in incredible little indie films, so why not do everything in MY power to make it easier? Plus, I obviously believe this as a truth, and as someone who creates her own world with her thoughts, it surely has manifested in my life. Achieving my health and fitness goal will then help me achieve career goals, financial goal and fun, travel goals, therefore making it a LEVERAGE goal.

Being able to see this goal as a LEVERAGE goal has helped me stick to the regime I set up for myself. My goal is to lose 40 lbs in 4 months. This is a completely attainable goal as I only have to lose 2.5 lbs per week. I've been making a menu every week, shopping with a grocery list, and working out 4-5 times a week. The first week I lost 5 lbs. The second week I lost 5 lbs. The 3rd week I lost 2 and the 4th week I lost 1 lb. I lost 13 lbs in ONE MONTH. I'm ahead of the game.

Week 5 I got a little fatigued from making the menus, the shopping lists, etc (which help in a HUGE way) and I had a lot of leftover food in my fridge, residual behavior from when I used to do monthly shopping for our family of 6 with my Mom, I always buy too much for 1 person. I took a break, I stuck to the diet, but I didn't have a menu or a shopping list, just ate what I had left and didn't worry about it. Then I went out with some friends and had some drinks, some great food and some wine. Too much. BUT we had a lot of fun and I realize that if I'm successful at life I'm going to have to be able to be a human and go out, treat myself and get right back on plan.

I'm starting to suspect that Self Sabotage is at play here. We're in Week 6 and yesterday I stuck to my plan until I had a little cheese at lunch and then some potatoes at dinner and THEN ice cream. NONE of those things are on the plan.

Googling Self Sabotage I found this definition:
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common selsabotaging behaviors are procrasination, self medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly." --- Psychologytoday.com

Behavior that cuts us off at the knees and stops us from completing our goals. There is also a scientific reason that we self sabotage. our bodies do it for us as an act of protection from the fear of the unknown that we are facing. In the 60's Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book called Psycho Cybernetics exploring why his plastic surgery patients who he had repaired cleft palates or deformities had such extreme reactions to the after result. There were some patients who after he fixed them saw only the ugly deformity that had been there before, while another would have the complete opposite reaction and be thrilled. He quickly discovered that the patients were reacting to their "labels" and the "identities" that they knew of themselves. Your nervous system behaves according to your labels and sets your internal thermostat expecting them to stay at the same level. When we set goals, and begin to push ourselves outside of the comfort zone, your nervous system will activate in order to keep you in the safe and comfortable zone.  This explains why when you begin pursuing a goal, seemingly external and internal forces will align to distract you from accomplishing your goal, keeping you right in that safe, cozy, comfortable place you’ve come to know and love.

I see this type of behavior in my actor friends all of the time. One of them recently went to SXSW film festival because he was the lead in a movie that premiered there. I asked him about his experience and he said that it was overwhelming and exciting and he had very little time to do anything but be interviewed and talk about the movie. He was treated like a true movie star who is the lead in a movie, something he has wanted for a long time. He told me he was relieved to be back at his job, waiting tables, that he was happy there and it felt nice to be back. Luckily, he knew he was in the process of Self Sabotaging himself and recognized that though he was comfortable waiting tables that he wouldn't allow himself to push away all the success from this movie!

Fear can make us freeze, fear can cause us to play it safe, fear is a bitch, therefore it must be part of self sabotage.

I do not want to be a waitress forever, I'm tired of having to live paycheck to paycheck and I am SO over getting THIS close to booking a job and having them give it to the other girl. Enough universe, its time to allow me success, abundance, freedom, bliss, humor, love, money and everything this little size 6 heart desires. I will be comfortable being the pretty girl, I will be okay with turning heads and attention that I am not used to.

The number one thing I've learned to love on this journey already is exercise. I've done made myself addicted to exercising. When I don't go workout for a few days in a row now I feel antsy and bad. I have been active for a lot of my life, but I don't think I ever expected to be addicted to exercising. Its now not something I have to decide if I want to do it or not, its not a choice, its just something that I do as a part of my regular day.

I'm recommitting to my goal. 40 lbs in 4 months. I know I can do this. I will succeed at it and my cybernetic system can relax, because its gonna go through a change as well!

Dating in Los Angeles Sucks! (A throwback blog from 2008)

I first posted this blog on MySpace, the wasteland of Social Media, and found it just today. . . reposting it here . . .

This evening at the swanky restaurant I work at I waited on what I thought was an average couple. It quickly turned into the strangest situation. Now, for those of you that don't know, where I work is a pretty swanky restaurant located in a fancy Hotel on a famous street in Los Angeles, READ EXPENSIVE. The kind of place I couldn't dine at without my 30% employee discount.

So, an average couple, I figured they knew each other, seemed to be having a good time. Their entrees arrive and they decide to go to the bathroom. They use the facilities and when I come back to the table, only the lady is there. I ask how everything is and she proceeds to tell me that she is on a first date with this gentleman and is really thrown by the fact that he just left her at the table. I asked if he had gone to the restroom, or what ? and she said that they had just visited the restroom. She surmised that he could be making a business phone call, since he is an extremely important business man, this was very important to her, she mentioned it many times. Still, she decided that this may be her issue and she was going to try and let it go because he was such a great catch and was a VERY IMPORTANT business man.

He returned to the table and I left. My manager approached me and mentioned that this man had come up to him and said he was on a first date and they were supposed to go to the STANDARD, but she had wanted to come here and HE DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR HIS CHECK. He was going through divorce and his credit cards were a mess. . . etc. My manager asked what the difference was and he said prob like $20. So my kind manager said, ok, when the check comes, put what you have in it, and we will talk then. He said he had $150. His check at this point was about $185.

The meal ended and I tried to stay away from the table and switched them to ice water, etc. I checked on them and she said she might have another glass of wine... if he would have another drink, He then LOOKED AT ME AND SAId, "I don't know should I have another drink." Like, wink, wink, you'll have to comp it. I said, 'I don't know. ' THEN HE ORDERED ANOTHER DRINK!!!! ANOTHER ROUND!!! HE ALREADY DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY HIS BILL. NOW, his bill is $220.

So, I finally dropped the check and ran. He then asked for a manager, while he was up at the front of the restaurant I went to talk to the lady with the intention of telling her how full of shit this guy was. . . She was all smiles. Turns out after he returned the first time she told him that she was bothered that he left her at the table and he fed her some bullshit that he went to meet the OWNER of the hotel, because he is a big business man and he needs to do things like that! SERIOUSLY, she bought it. THEN as he is negotiating payment he doesn't have, she thinks he is talking to the manager about ordering dessert and another glass of wine because they didn't realize the kitchen had closed. She thought he was being a huge hero by getting her a "special wine" and getting her dessert. While really, he was negotiating with my manager, leaving his drivers license, a check, and $100 saying he would come by tomorrow and pay for it. RETARDED>

I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her the truth. I sort of feel that it is her fault she is in that situation. If she wasn't so obsessed with how much money he made, would she see through the lies?!

How desperate for love and companionship is she that she will wear blinders to create the perfect man?!

It really is the City of Lost Angels.