21 Days of Financial Honesty - Shattering the Overdraft Fees

Day 2. Financial Honesty.

Overdraft fees.

They make no sense to me. Overdraft fees were something I got when I first moved to Los Angeles and I was struggling to make ends meet and Wells Fargo were complete asses that charged an arm and a leg for each one. I quickly got my act together, left Wells Fargo, joined a credit union and vowed never again.

To my alarm, as I was gathering my deductions for my taxes I noticed an alarming number at the bottom of my Statement. There at the bottom was a "Year to Date- Overdraft Fee" box. I thought hmmm, I don't remember getting too many. . . shouldn't be that bad. . . $1000. I had over $1000 in Overdraft Fees last year. Do you KNOW how much I could USE $1000 right now?!

To my chagrin this year has begun much in the same way. I vowed to stop getting overdraft fees in 2012 but my year has not started off that great. I don't know what I was thinking, but in a weird, roundabout way, I thought it was better to pay my bills on time, and just accrue the fees if I didn't have quite enough in my account to cover them. WHAT THE HELL? Most of the late fees on my bills are $15. Here I was getting things paid in a responsible manner but paying a $25 Overdraft Fee at the same time instead of just getting a $5-$15 late fee on the bill. Most of the time if I call the people I owe money to, they just make a note of it, charge the late fee and they wait for the money to show up.

Also, I hate Overdraft FEES and I think they are mean and do NOTHING to help people who are perhaps struggling to get by. I get it, from a business point of view, but I think they've gotten a little out of hand. I think they are strictly a way for Credit Union's and Banks to make money off of people for NOW GOOD REASON. Most of the time they create a greater problem. This last month, I had to pay my $300 car bill three weeks late because I didn't have the money, but over the last month I was charged about $250 in Overdraft fees! That's almost enough to pay the car bill!!! AHHHHH!! In money I will NEVER GET BACK!!!

Don't even get me started on the vicious circle of debt that they can create. Watch my video blurb to hear more.

Now that we've ranted. . . What can I do in my new found Financial honesty to stop getting late fees. STOP spending money that I don't have. Wait until I have the money to pay the bill or get a money order when I have the money and that way, it gets deducted from my account without having to wait for checks to clear or the dust to settle on all pending transactions. I mentioned in my blog yesterday that a lot of this had to do with not keeping track of the money I had spent in my checking account. BIG no, no that I will never do again. I downloaded a simple app on my iPhone called, iCash Tracker to act as an electronic cash register and tell me how much money I ACTUALLY have to spend. I hope this solves my problem because I HATE giving credit unions and banks my money for NOTHING> NOTHING> NOTHING. There are so many amazing places I could go and things I could buy if I just saved that money and never got another Overdraft Fee in my life.

I'm done getting fees. What about you? Have you sworn fees out of your life? Join me won't you, though the execs at your bank might not be too happy, the money you have left over for a massage will definitely be worth it.

21 Days of Financial Honesty - Will the SECRET be my downfall?

My financial life is in shambles. It is falling apart. I am fully and completely to blame.

I am a 32 year old woman who prides herself on her ability to work a "support while I make it" job as I chase my dream of being a working actress in film and television. I fully, 100% believe that I create my own reality. . . so how did I end up here?

Here begins Day ONE of 21 Days of Financial Honesty.
First the facts . . .
I am 32 years old.
I work a pretty good job at a swanky restaurant in West Hollywood that has health insurance.
I lease a sweet 2011 Honda Civic.
I have $50 in my savings account.
I live pay check to pay check.
I rent a 2 bedroom, 1 bath Craftsman house in a really great neighborhood of Los Angeles that I rent with a roommate.
I have $8,000 in credit card debt.
I owe the IRS $3000 because I was audited a few years back.
I had to ask my parents for money.
I am 32 years old. 

I have never been in a financial situation that I was seriously worried about. I'm a little bit worried now. So, what happened? How did I get here? I have lived for 10 years in Los Angeles supporting myself and my dream. I've been blessed in the job department, though the two restaurants that I've worked at are restaurants and not acting gigs as I would like, they are pretty easy gigs, which provided me with a stable (ish) income, great friends and health insurance. The last few years I've been able to work 25-30 hours a week, taking vacation whenever I want to and leaving my days open for auditions.

Why now? Why does this all feel like the world is crashing around me now? Let's be honest, I haven't had the greatest year, struck down by a broken ankle, I was on disability for 6 months, which, while it provided a pretty good income, it did not cover all of my bills. Turns out I have a pretty high overhead.

I am going to blog about this for 21 days as I examine WHAT HAPPENED? How did I get here? What can I do? and How can I fix it?

NUMBER ONE ---- IGNORE IT and it WILL GO AWAY. . . .
This does not actually work in the financial world. As I mentioned previously I believe in the power of the mind to create your own reality, however, the risk of the SECRET is that its almost impossible to believe you have unending streams of abundance if you can't afford to go out to dinner, buy a new dress when you want to, put gas in your car, you get the idea. There is no one in the world who has such control over their thoughts so much so that you can attract abundance as you pray that your car makes it home on the remaining gas fumes you have. ESPECIALLY since they say your feelings are the number one attractor to creating your world.

I have a horrible habit on NOT looking at the reality of my finances. LITERALLY, looking at my bank account. So, for the next 21 days. I vow to ACTUALLY look at my bank account, everyday, online, so I KNOW what's in there, what I can spend and to make sure that no one else has stolen my debit card and went on a free for all at the KMARTS up in Valencia, which happened to me earlier this year. It really has been one hell of a year.

I also vow to keep track of all of the purchases I have made on my debit card. Remember the good old days when you wanted to access your bank account you had to actually write a check and then while you were standing in line at the grocery store you could fill out the Check register and write down how much money you spent? Each week you could sit down and subtract all of those transactions and know exactly how much you spent? Do you know how long it took me to remember that that thing was called a "Check Register"? Because we don't use them anymore. . . well, maybe some people do. I downloaded a free app on my iPhone called iCASH TRACKER. ALL it does is track the money in my bank account, I input a starting amount, track when I use my debit card and deposit money and it keeps a running tally for me. So I know that if my landlord hasn't cashed the rent check yet, I ONLY have $50 left to spend, not the $1000 that I THINK I have. . .

Which leads me to rack up an embarrassing amount of OVERDRAFT FEES . . . which I will blog about tomorrow.

What about you? How's your financial health these days? We spend so much time focusing on our physical health and the health of the nation, but how's your FINANCIAL health? Are you able to actually attract abundance into your world because you have control of your finances? I'm so jealous of you if you are and aspire to be just like you.

The other day I got an email from Danielle LaPorte the author of Fire Starter Sessions and someone who KNOWS how to create abundance. According to her website she used to book personal one on one coaching sessions with people for $1000 an hour. This is a woman who knows her value and has her finances worked out! Her Burning Question of the day was, What's the best piece of advice you've been given. . . it boiled down to this.

"When you 'think' it's a crisis, you've got to ask yourself: is any of this going to matter in three years?" Then you do what you got to do.

When I think about this financial crisis I'm pretty sure it won't even register in three years.  But you can be damn sure that I'm going to do what I got to do.




Check out more of her brilliance at www.daniellelaporte.com

Have you looked at your account online today? I have.

Shattering what Happened to Integrity, Virtue and the Value of Your Word?!

Yesterday on my drive home from work I was listening to the news on NPR. They were talking about the verdict that was reached in the Dharun Ravi trial, the former Rutgers student who used a webcam to watch and broadcast his roommate, Tyler Clementi's romantic night with another man. Shortly after doing this, Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge to his death. It's becoming an all too familiar story about bullying and gay students giving up on themselves and choosing to end their lives.

The report said that Ravi had sent Tweets and text messages to fellow students when his roommate asked to be alone in the room, expressing his disgust with his roommates choice to make out with another man. In a Twitter post, Ravi wrote, "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay." He then used the webcam to invite others to video chat him and check out the action themselves as he streamed live from the webcam again. All of this is horrific enough, leading to the fact that it drove Tyler to commit suicide is even more heartbreaking. The thing that struck me the most about this story is that as the reporter wrapped it up they said that Ravi's parents whisked him out of the courtroom, showing no emotion, and that they will be appealing the verdict.

APPEAL the VERDICT?! How can you possibly? What happened to Integrity? To Virtue? To the Value of your word? Ravi was found guilty by a jury, and there were great amounts of physical evidence that he did all of the things he was accused of. There are text messages, Tweets and evidence that he attempted to delete the damning evidence after Tyler committed suicide. What happened to owning up to a mistake? To saying, I'm sorry, I messed up and to actually facing the consequences of your actions? If its printed in black and white that you actually did these things, you actually wrote all of these hateful things, encouraged others to do the same and it ended in an unfortunate way, WHY WOULD YOU THEN TRY TO APPEAL the sentence? You DID all of these things.

I don't think that Ravi alone is to blame here. What happened to all of the other people in the world willing to stand up for what's right? What happened to his friend Molly that was in the room when he streamed the live webcam? What were all of those students thinking who tuned in to watch? How is it possible that no one thought that Tyler deserved defending? The breach of privacy alone should have triggered some personal alarms for these college kids shouldn't they? Is this the society that we live in now? Is this what happens when every personal moment is recorded for the entire world to see on FB and Twitter? That a breach of privacy like this seems like its a run of the mill, everyday occurrence? Like violence in video games and movies are we becoming desensitized to how people should be treated? The basic right that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors and not just in Vegas?

There are so many systems that failed here. As fashion, TV and movies throw back to the retro age, a simpler time, I encourage everyone to remember what Integrity is. To remember what it was to be virtuous. To value your word.  I know that its not popular to speak out against your peers but its time to make these old fashioned values hip again.

Find a way to marry that in your life and then we can worry about whether or not the gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage, because from where I'm standing right now, basic human decency is more important than the sanctity of marriage. It's time to go back to standing up for what's right and speaking up when you see something that is not.

integrity |inˈtegritē|
noun
1 the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness : he is known to be a man of integrity.

virtue |ˈvər ch oō|
noun
1 behavior showing high moral standards : paragons of virtue. See note at goodness .
• a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person : patience is a virtue.

value |ˈvalyoō|
noun
1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something : your support is of great value.

Here's a link to a news article referencing what I'm talking about.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/dharun-ravi-guilty-invasion-privacy-counts-rutgers-spying-case-article-1.1040776

Shattering The Waiting Game

The Waiting Game. Sounds fun. Its a game, why wouldn't a game be fun? What is it about waiting that stifles all creation?

I am well versed in creation. I am well versed in manifestation. I know that if I'm waiting for something to happen that it will never happen because the simple act of waiting for something to happen places it in the future, forever in the future. An endless cycle of waiting.

Yet, here I sit. At my desk . . . waiting. What am I waiting for you ask?

Today I am waiting . . .

 . . . to hear if we got into any other film festivals with our short "Just Like the Movies".
. . . to get paid on Friday so I can pay my bills, attend a workout class, put gas in my car.
. . . for my ankle to heal so I can work out and lose weight, get to the goal I've wanted to get to for a LONG time.
 . . . for it to be 5:00, time to go to my "support while I make it" job.
. . . for my agent to call me with an audition.
. . .  for inspiration to strike.
. . . for the life I know I'm destined to live, that I continually reassure people I know is going to happen, that I so WANT to happen, to actually start happening.

Truth be told, I live a pretty good life. I live in a great little house that I rent, have an adorable little dog, a job that provides me with a pretty good living, some amazing travel experiences, great dinners, I have my creativity, my writing, acting, singing, my health, I am part of a supportive, loving family.

You know what some of it is? I get a small amount of success, my acting career begins to move forward and I halt it. Last weekend, a short I co-wrote, co-produced and acted in, "Just Like the Movies" made its debut at the Dam Short Film Festival in Boulder City, NV. We won "Best Nevada Film", that's the section we were entered in because one of our producers lives in Nevada and we shot it in Vegas! We were called up on stage and accepted the award and I began to feel like a "real" actress. Not that awards equal being a real actress, but the entire experience of attending the festival, participating in a press conference, the Q and A afterward, all of those things are a part of the world I am forever hovering on the edge of. . . and I have a horrible pattern of putting on the brakes whenever I get close to where I want to be.

Paul Lirette and I participate in the Press Conference

Why would I do this? After some soul searching, meditation, etc, the closest thing I can come up with is that I am afraid that my success will equal people not liking me and if there is one thing that Elizabeth Mihelich doesn't like, it's NOT being liked. I can't stand it. It's just in me. I have grown over the years and have a much better grasp on this now. I can recognize that people who don't like me or resonate with me are probably not meant to be a part of my life. The little girl inside of me just feels a heart breaking loneliness at not being good enough. Where would that come from?

I have a distinct memory of an awards ceremony in elementary school, you know the one where the whole school sits on the floor and parents line the walls with cameras waiting anxiously for their kids names to be called. I remember winning an award for excellence in English, and then one in Science, and then one in something else, I won so many awards I wasn't able to get back to my seat before my name was called again. I was a very good student. I wanted to do well and I usually did. I remember being proud of what I accomplished, I remember thinking, yes, this is what I'm supposed to do. After the ceremony though kids weren't nice to me. I was teased, made fun of, and just generally made to feel bad for being so good. Success = people not liking you.
 

Having the revelation one day of this memory made me realize WHY I keep sabotaging myself. A psychic friend described it to me earlier as me standing in front of a wall built of Styrofoam blocks. It could be simply blown over, but there I stand in front of it, afraid to move, negotiating with it, talking to it, when all I have to do is . . . breathe.

I guess the question is . . . do I have the courage to exhale?

Shattering YOU-niqueness!

You are YOU-niquely you. You are the only person in this world that is like you, unless you have an identical twin but even then, chances are, you have very distinct and different personalities. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to fully embrace your YOU-niqueness.


Think about it, being YOU-nique means;


No one will ever hug like you.
No one will ever be able to replicate your smile.
No one will tell a story exactly the way that you do.
No one has eyes like yours.
No one has as many freckles as you do.
No one has a laugh quite like you do.


Whether you are an amazing artist or a terrible one, YOU are the only one who can create that art.
Whether you can sing like a rockstar or can't hold a tune, YOU are the only one with your voice.
Whether you've won an Academy Award for acting or you do it for the love of it, YOU are the only one who will interpret that character that way. 
Whether you are a published author or struggle to write a sentence, YOU are the only one who will write the way that you do.
Whether you are a world renowned ballerina or people clear the floor when you dance, YOU are the only one who moves the way that you do. 


Your view of the world is uniquely that, its YOURS. No one else looks at the world the exact same way that you do.
Your hopes and dreams are unique to your soul. No one else wants exactly the same things you want.
Your love and the way it makes a person feel will never be able to be replaced. No one can hug, kiss, touch, feel or share love the way that YOU can.
Your friendship is unique. No one else will be able make your friend laugh when they need to, hold them when they are upset or wing-man the way that YOU do. 


Being YOU-nique should make you jump up and down with joy! Being YOU-nique and appreciating your uniqueness will make your life a THRILL to live. If no one else in the world can be you, why would they want anyone else?


If no one else can create in exactly the same way as anyone else, all art is beautiful, all writing is brilliant, all singing is glorious, all acting is breathtaking, all dancing is out of this world and all of you is perfect. There is no need for competition or feeling less than if you know that no one else can do exactly what you do! You CAN NOT FAIL, YOU CAN NOT BE WRONG and YOU CAN NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING ACCEPTED if you KNOW that you are YOU-NIQUE!


Embrace your YOU-niqueness in 2012 and enjoy the ride! No one else is on the exact same ride! It's all yours baby! Buckle up! Get ready to fly!


Wishing you the best year of your life!
Love Always,
Elizabeth Mihelich

; ) Shattering Emoticon Overuse : )

I wonder if people expected that one day grown ups would often include a smiley drawn into their everyday writings? It seems rather silly when you think about a 32 year old woman journaling and including a : ) . It has become socially accepted and dare I say socially expected to help decipher just HOW you're supposed to feel about that particular sentence.

Why can't people just say what they want to say and allow people to feel whatever it is they want about it? If, after reading it, its something that they are unhappy about they can have an honest conversation about what it was that upset them. Perhaps they would get to know one another on a deeper level because they would be forced to learn about each other through their adult-ish conversation.  To understand what upsets a person usually involves some back history, a personal anecdote or God forbid some tears and genuine emotion.

I often use the "wink" ; ) to excuse a passive aggressive text or almost as an apology about something I was truly upset about. So why apologize? Why not just allow what you said to be heard, without comment or guidance, so you can actually deal with it? There's such a level of disconnection in our society today that allows us to hide behind this technology, which is actually designed to bring us closer. Closer in the sense that it connects you with people all over the world that you may not have met before.

Gone are the days where you would have 10-20 close friends who would drop by regularly to chat. We've ushered in and welcomed with open arms a world where we have 1,000 acquaintances that we are kept abreast of their every move, feeling and political outlook filtered through what they want us to know about them. Or in the case of the younger generation NOT filtered through anything since they literally share their every little move, sometimes to their own detriment. Note passing and gossiping in middle school got me in enough trouble without the ability for the entire world to participate, "like" it and comment on it.  I can't imagine who I would be or what my life would be like if I had grown up with Facebook or all of this texting. I'm sure I would have been very uncomfortable and cried a lot of tears. Or maybe my writing ability would have allowed me to break in to the cool crowd?

Yeah, okay, probably not. : )

Damn it.

Shattering a Legacy or a Life Left Behind

Flipping through Oprah's latest Reading List for the month of November, or shall I say clicking, since I was doing it on my computer, I came across the description of "The Journals of Spalding Gray"

Edited by Nell Casey

"The brilliant, tormented performer mesmerized audiences with his autobiographical monologues, but most revealing are these diaries leading up to his suicide in 2004."

 I continued clicking through the list and in the flash of a few thoughts thought about reading that book and what it must be like. I wondered how dark it is and whether or not it was something I would be interested in reading. My next thought was will I ever have people read my published journals after I'm gone? I highly doubt that I will ever publish a journal that leads up to my suicide, but I suppose you never know where life can lead you or the trauma that can change your very soul and being. What makes your journal or your stories worthy to published, let alone read by other people? Is it the fascination of how a creative mind like Spalding's works? The mystery of what could cause a person to commit suicide? The brief moment to connect on a soul level and relate to one another's humanity?

I write blogs, I write screenplays, I would like to write a novel one day. I love when people read my writings and are moved by them or feel compelled to share them with other people. Is that a legacy being left behind already? Can you leave a legacy in small doses everyday of your life? Or is a legacy only left when you have something profound and worthwhile to say? Do you think Spalding Gray would want to be remembered for his diaries leading up to the darkest day of his life? Is a legacy something that you have no control over and is simply up to those whom you leave behind to define for you?

All of this in a few clicks of the computer and a fleeting moment of thought. The human brain is amazing. I wonder when we're going to be able to access that other 97% of it that we don't use.