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A Life of Honest Connection

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Shattering what Happened to Integrity, Virtue and the Value of Your Word?!

Yesterday on my drive home from work I was listening to the news on NPR. They were talking about the verdict that was reached in the Dharun Ravi trial, the former Rutgers student who used a webcam to watch and broadcast his roommate, Tyler Clementi's romantic night with another man. Shortly after doing this, Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge to his death. It's becoming an all too familiar story about bullying and gay students giving up on themselves and choosing to end their lives.

The report said that Ravi had sent Tweets and text messages to fellow students when his roommate asked to be alone in the room, expressing his disgust with his roommates choice to make out with another man. In a Twitter post, Ravi wrote, "Roommate asked for the room till midnight. I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay." He then used the webcam to invite others to video chat him and check out the action themselves as he streamed live from the webcam again. All of this is horrific enough, leading to the fact that it drove Tyler to commit suicide is even more heartbreaking. The thing that struck me the most about this story is that as the reporter wrapped it up they said that Ravi's parents whisked him out of the courtroom, showing no emotion, and that they will be appealing the verdict.

APPEAL the VERDICT?! How can you possibly? What happened to Integrity? To Virtue? To the Value of your word? Ravi was found guilty by a jury, and there were great amounts of physical evidence that he did all of the things he was accused of. There are text messages, Tweets and evidence that he attempted to delete the damning evidence after Tyler committed suicide. What happened to owning up to a mistake? To saying, I'm sorry, I messed up and to actually facing the consequences of your actions? If its printed in black and white that you actually did these things, you actually wrote all of these hateful things, encouraged others to do the same and it ended in an unfortunate way, WHY WOULD YOU THEN TRY TO APPEAL the sentence? You DID all of these things.

I don't think that Ravi alone is to blame here. What happened to all of the other people in the world willing to stand up for what's right? What happened to his friend Molly that was in the room when he streamed the live webcam? What were all of those students thinking who tuned in to watch? How is it possible that no one thought that Tyler deserved defending? The breach of privacy alone should have triggered some personal alarms for these college kids shouldn't they? Is this the society that we live in now? Is this what happens when every personal moment is recorded for the entire world to see on FB and Twitter? That a breach of privacy like this seems like its a run of the mill, everyday occurrence? Like violence in video games and movies are we becoming desensitized to how people should be treated? The basic right that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors and not just in Vegas?

There are so many systems that failed here. As fashion, TV and movies throw back to the retro age, a simpler time, I encourage everyone to remember what Integrity is. To remember what it was to be virtuous. To value your word.  I know that its not popular to speak out against your peers but its time to make these old fashioned values hip again.

Find a way to marry that in your life and then we can worry about whether or not the gays will ruin the sanctity of marriage, because from where I'm standing right now, basic human decency is more important than the sanctity of marriage. It's time to go back to standing up for what's right and speaking up when you see something that is not.

integrity |inˈtegritē|
noun
1 the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness : he is known to be a man of integrity.

virtue |ˈvər ch oō|
noun
1 behavior showing high moral standards : paragons of virtue. See note at goodness .
• a quality considered morally good or desirable in a person : patience is a virtue.

value |ˈvalyoō|
noun
1 the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something : your support is of great value.

Here's a link to a news article referencing what I'm talking about.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/dharun-ravi-guilty-invasion-privacy-counts-rutgers-spying-case-article-1.1040776