*~*

A Life of Honest Connection

Monday, November 14, 2011

; ) Shattering Emoticon Overuse : )

I wonder if people expected that one day grown ups would often include a smiley drawn into their everyday writings? It seems rather silly when you think about a 32 year old woman journaling and including a : ) . It has become socially accepted and dare I say socially expected to help decipher just HOW you're supposed to feel about that particular sentence.

Why can't people just say what they want to say and allow people to feel whatever it is they want about it? If, after reading it, its something that they are unhappy about they can have an honest conversation about what it was that upset them. Perhaps they would get to know one another on a deeper level because they would be forced to learn about each other through their adult-ish conversation.  To understand what upsets a person usually involves some back history, a personal anecdote or God forbid some tears and genuine emotion.

I often use the "wink" ; ) to excuse a passive aggressive text or almost as an apology about something I was truly upset about. So why apologize? Why not just allow what you said to be heard, without comment or guidance, so you can actually deal with it? There's such a level of disconnection in our society today that allows us to hide behind this technology, which is actually designed to bring us closer. Closer in the sense that it connects you with people all over the world that you may not have met before.

Gone are the days where you would have 10-20 close friends who would drop by regularly to chat. We've ushered in and welcomed with open arms a world where we have 1,000 acquaintances that we are kept abreast of their every move, feeling and political outlook filtered through what they want us to know about them. Or in the case of the younger generation NOT filtered through anything since they literally share their every little move, sometimes to their own detriment. Note passing and gossiping in middle school got me in enough trouble without the ability for the entire world to participate, "like" it and comment on it.  I can't imagine who I would be or what my life would be like if I had grown up with Facebook or all of this texting. I'm sure I would have been very uncomfortable and cried a lot of tears. Or maybe my writing ability would have allowed me to break in to the cool crowd?

Yeah, okay, probably not. : )

Damn it.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Shattering a Legacy or a Life Left Behind

Flipping through Oprah's latest Reading List for the month of November, or shall I say clicking, since I was doing it on my computer, I came across the description of "The Journals of Spalding Gray"

Edited by Nell Casey
"The brilliant, tormented performer mesmerized audiences with his autobiographical monologues, but most revealing are these diaries leading up to his suicide in 2004."
 I continued clicking through the list and in the flash of a few thoughts thought about reading that book and what it must be like. I wondered how dark it is and whether or not it was something I would be interested in reading. My next thought was will I ever have people read my published journals after I'm gone? I highly doubt that I will ever publish a journal that leads up to my suicide, but I suppose you never know where life can lead you or the trauma that can change your very soul and being. What makes your journal or your stories worthy to published, let alone read by other people? Is it the fascination of how a creative mind like Spalding's works? The mystery of what could cause a person to commit suicide? The brief moment to connect on a soul level and relate to one another's humanity?

I write blogs, I write screenplays, I would like to write a novel one day. I love when people read my writings and are moved by them or feel compelled to share them with other people. Is that a legacy being left behind already? Can you leave a legacy in small doses everyday of your life? Or is a legacy only left when you have something profound and worthwhile to say? Do you think Spalding Gray would want to be remembered for his diaries leading up to the darkest day of his life? Is a legacy something that you have no control over and is simply up to those whom you leave behind to define for you?

All of this in a few clicks of the computer and a fleeting moment of thought. The human brain is amazing. I wonder when we're going to be able to access that other 97% of it that we don't use.