*~*

A Life of Honest Connection

Thursday, June 16, 2011

21 Day Challenge Check in

I started a challenge with myself a few weeks ago that I would do certain things everyday. As I've progressed on this journey I have struggled to simply observe what's been happening or not happening, and to learn from the process as opposed to beating myself up over not completing everything on my check list everyday.

I'm actually quite surprised by what's been slipping through the cracks and NOT getting checked off my list! The one thing that I started this project for, to write everyday, my own stuff, has not gotten done ONCE. Which forces me to ask, is this something that I really want to do? Is it that 2 hours seems so overwhelming? Would 1 hour be more achievable?


I don't know that I have any answers yet, but will continue with the challenge to see how it plays out. Truthfully, a LOT of the time, I'm simply running out of hours in my day. So, its most likely going to have to be a shifting of my priorities, a change in my schedule to make room for something that is important to me. Because in reality, writing is important to me and something that I want to make room for in my life.

There was even one day when only the affirmations got done because I was hungover from the night before. Normally when I drink too much and am hung over the next day I beat myself up in An incredible way. . . not sure where this comes from . . . but this time was so different. I had such a delightful evening that night at my favorite place, Covell, with two of my favorite people, Mapuana and Erin and all of my favorite people working that night, Eduardo, Doug, Matt and Dustin, that it was simply impossible to beat myself up for having such a good time. Of course I could choose in the future to have a delightful evening of the like kind without having to be so hungover. This day I choose to accept that sometimes, I am authentically a person who likes to drink a little too much. I would re-live that night over and over again. The crazy thing is all we did was sit at the bar, enjoy some AMAZING wine, AMAZING company and laugh and giggle our way through the night! No shenanigans, just pure, honest, open, connection with some pretty amazing people!



On a positive note, most everyday I have been Free Writing, meditating and reciting the 5 affirmations in the mirror 21 times. More often than not I work out 45-60 minutes a day, which has been GREATLY helped by the fact that I rescued a puppy and in order to wear her out I HAVE to take her on long walks everyday. I think this could be a GREAT new diet fad and reality show! Give over-weight people a hyper active dog that HAS to be exercised and watch how quickly they lose the weight! Actually, the more I think about it, we could be killing two birds with one stone, helping people lose weight AND rescuing animals that need homes. . .hmmm . . . Someone write that down!

Ohhh, I just did! ; )

The Puppy!                                            Miss Audrey Go-Lightly



Eating Healthy is another thing one my check list. I am happy to report that this has also been achieved most everyday! There are some days when I've found myself stress eating at midnight after a long day of work, but its okay, because I'm learning that sometimes I'm a stress eater. I still haven't fully launched the "Fat Flush" that I wanted to, but this begs the question, is this something that I really want to do. Do I really want to be a size 6? or Do I want to love and accept my body as it is and rock the size 10 that I am? This was asked of me yesterday and to be honest with you and with myself, I still don't know the answer to my question.


I have wanted to achieve my goal of being a size 6 for about 5 years now. . . but if I really wanted to do it, why haven't I yet? Is it the number that's off putting? I know that I REALLY REALLY want to rock a white bikini someday (I don't know why WHITE, with my skin tone its probably not the best choice, but I REALLY want one) and I really want to have long, lean dancer type muscles that I get when I consistently do Cardio Barre or Tracy Effinger's Squeeze workout.

What I REALLY want more than anything is to be in a place where I love and accept myself for who I am, not matter what size, no matter how my muscles look, to be able to say, I have a BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING Body that is UNIQUELY my own and I CHOOSE to ROCK IT no matter what numbers are attached to it. IF I can get to that place I bet I would rock a killer bikini in ANY color!

:)

Perhaps I shall add that to my checklist and wake everyday claiming, I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, SEXY Body That is UNIQUELY MY OWN and I CHOOSE TO ROCK IT!

Ooooo that feels GOOD!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

21 Day Challenge- Shattering Resistance and Old Patterns!

I started a 21 day Challenge with myself today. EVERYDAY these are the things I promise to do for myself. . . It's an experiment, it can't hurt, I say WHY not. . .

Everyday I Will
  • Free Write 3 Pages as soon as I wake up
  • Meditate
  • 45-60 minutes of exercise
  • Repeat the following 5 affirmations in the mirror 21 times.
    • I am Powerful
    • I'm lucky
    • I am enough.
    • I am a Millionaire
    • I love you.
  • Write for 2 hours (my stuff, scripts, blogs, etc)
  • Eat Healthy
  • Write a gratitude list at night before I go to bed of 5 things I'm grateful for from that day and 5 things that I love about myself. 
I have been planning on challenging myself to something like this for awhile. I decided to start today, 6/2/11 because it would end on 6/22/11 and I liked the numbers in all of those dates. Today I knew I was gonna start it, but did nothing until around 2:45, when I quite simply could NOT sit still anymore. I was anxious, feeling terrible, nervous about a silly boy (for no reason), distracted and unhappy. I MADE myself get up and repeat the 5 affirmations in the mirror. I don't know what it was, but that SIMPLE little action lifted my spirits immediately and I had the drive to go for a run/ walk! I have always thought the affirmations in the mirror were a little weird and didn't know if they would work or not, but I think I'm sold on day one simply because it put me in an instantaneous better mood, and I was able to break a pattern.  In the past I would have just resigned to a nap/watching TV and then proceeded to beat myself up for the rest of the day for not being accountable to myself.

Why is it that we can be so accountable to other people, but when it comes to being accountable for ourselves we just can't seem to do it?

It ends today. Wanna take the challenge with me?

Shattering Resistance and Old Patterns!

Shatter Away!
Yippee!!!