*~*

A Life of Honest Connection

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Shattering YOU-niqueness!





You are YOU-niquely you. You are the only person in this world that is like you, unless you have an identical twin but even then, chances are, you have very distinct and different personalities. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to fully embrace your YOU-niqueness.


Think about it, being YOU-nique means;


No one will ever hug like you.
No one will ever be able to replicate your smile.
No one will tell a story exactly the way that you do.
No one has eyes like yours.
No one has as many freckles as you do.
No one has a laugh quite like you do.


Whether you are an amazing artist or a terrible one, YOU are the only one who can create that art.
Whether you can sing like a rockstar or can't hold a tune, YOU are the only one with your voice.
Whether you've won an Academy Award for acting or you do it for the love of it, YOU are the only one who will interpret that character that way. 
Whether you are a published author or struggle to write a sentence, YOU are the only one who will write the way that you do.
Whether you are a world renowned ballerina or people clear the floor when you dance, YOU are the only one who moves the way that you do. 


Your view of the world is uniquely that, its YOURS. No one else looks at the world the exact same way that you do.
Your hopes and dreams are unique to your soul. No one else wants exactly the same things you want.
Your love and the way it makes a person feel will never be able to be replaced. No one can hug, kiss, touch, feel or share love the way that YOU can.
Your friendship is unique. No one else will be able make your friend laugh when they need to, hold them when they are upset or wing-man the way that YOU do. 


Being YOU-nique should make you jump up and down with joy! Being YOU-nique and appreciating your uniqueness will make your life a THRILL to live. If no one else in the world can be you, why would they want anyone else?


If no one else can create in exactly the same way as anyone else, all art is beautiful, all writing is brilliant, all singing is glorious, all acting is breathtaking, all dancing is out of this world and all of you is perfect. There is no need for competition or feeling less than if you know that no one else can do exactly what you do! You CAN NOT FAIL, YOU CAN NOT BE WRONG and YOU CAN NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING ACCEPTED if you KNOW that you are YOU-NIQUE!


Embrace your YOU-niqueness in 2012 and enjoy the ride! No one else is on the exact same ride! It's all yours baby! Buckle up! Get ready to fly!


Wishing you the best year of your life!
Love Always,
Elizabeth Mihelich



















Monday, November 14, 2011

; ) Shattering Emoticon Overuse : )

I wonder if people expected that one day grown ups would often include a smiley drawn into their everyday writings? It seems rather silly when you think about a 32 year old woman journaling and including a : ) . It has become socially accepted and dare I say socially expected to help decipher just HOW you're supposed to feel about that particular sentence.

Why can't people just say what they want to say and allow people to feel whatever it is they want about it? If, after reading it, its something that they are unhappy about they can have an honest conversation about what it was that upset them. Perhaps they would get to know one another on a deeper level because they would be forced to learn about each other through their adult-ish conversation.  To understand what upsets a person usually involves some back history, a personal anecdote or God forbid some tears and genuine emotion.

I often use the "wink" ; ) to excuse a passive aggressive text or almost as an apology about something I was truly upset about. So why apologize? Why not just allow what you said to be heard, without comment or guidance, so you can actually deal with it? There's such a level of disconnection in our society today that allows us to hide behind this technology, which is actually designed to bring us closer. Closer in the sense that it connects you with people all over the world that you may not have met before.

Gone are the days where you would have 10-20 close friends who would drop by regularly to chat. We've ushered in and welcomed with open arms a world where we have 1,000 acquaintances that we are kept abreast of their every move, feeling and political outlook filtered through what they want us to know about them. Or in the case of the younger generation NOT filtered through anything since they literally share their every little move, sometimes to their own detriment. Note passing and gossiping in middle school got me in enough trouble without the ability for the entire world to participate, "like" it and comment on it.  I can't imagine who I would be or what my life would be like if I had grown up with Facebook or all of this texting. I'm sure I would have been very uncomfortable and cried a lot of tears. Or maybe my writing ability would have allowed me to break in to the cool crowd?

Yeah, okay, probably not. : )

Damn it.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Shattering a Legacy or a Life Left Behind

Flipping through Oprah's latest Reading List for the month of November, or shall I say clicking, since I was doing it on my computer, I came across the description of "The Journals of Spalding Gray"

Edited by Nell Casey
"The brilliant, tormented performer mesmerized audiences with his autobiographical monologues, but most revealing are these diaries leading up to his suicide in 2004."
 I continued clicking through the list and in the flash of a few thoughts thought about reading that book and what it must be like. I wondered how dark it is and whether or not it was something I would be interested in reading. My next thought was will I ever have people read my published journals after I'm gone? I highly doubt that I will ever publish a journal that leads up to my suicide, but I suppose you never know where life can lead you or the trauma that can change your very soul and being. What makes your journal or your stories worthy to published, let alone read by other people? Is it the fascination of how a creative mind like Spalding's works? The mystery of what could cause a person to commit suicide? The brief moment to connect on a soul level and relate to one another's humanity?

I write blogs, I write screenplays, I would like to write a novel one day. I love when people read my writings and are moved by them or feel compelled to share them with other people. Is that a legacy being left behind already? Can you leave a legacy in small doses everyday of your life? Or is a legacy only left when you have something profound and worthwhile to say? Do you think Spalding Gray would want to be remembered for his diaries leading up to the darkest day of his life? Is a legacy something that you have no control over and is simply up to those whom you leave behind to define for you?

All of this in a few clicks of the computer and a fleeting moment of thought. The human brain is amazing. I wonder when we're going to be able to access that other 97% of it that we don't use.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Dating in Los Angeles Sucks! (A throwback blog from 2008)

I first posted this blog on MySpace, the wasteland of Social Media, and found it just today. . . reposting it here . . .

This evening at the swanky restaurant I work at I waited on what I thought was an average couple. It quickly turned into the strangest situation. Now, for those of you that don't know, where I work is a pretty swanky restaurant located in a fancy Hotel on a famous street in Los Angeles, READ EXPENSIVE. The kind of place I couldn't dine at without my 30% employee discount.

So, an average couple, I figured they knew each other, seemed to be having a good time. Their entrees arrive and they decide to go to the bathroom. They use the facilities and when I come back to the table, only the lady is there. I ask how everything is and she proceeds to tell me that she is on a first date with this gentleman and is really thrown by the fact that he just left her at the table. I asked if he had gone to the restroom, or what ? and she said that they had just visited the restroom. She surmised that he could be making a business phone call, since he is an extremely important business man, this was very important to her, she mentioned it many times. Still, she decided that this may be her issue and she was going to try and let it go because he was such a great catch and was a VERY IMPORTANT business man.

He returned to the table and I left. My manager approached me and mentioned that this man had come up to him and said he was on a first date and they were supposed to go to the STANDARD, but she had wanted to come here and HE DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR HIS CHECK. He was going through divorce and his credit cards were a mess. . . etc. My manager asked what the difference was and he said prob like $20. So my kind manager said, ok, when the check comes, put what you have in it, and we will talk then. He said he had $150. His check at this point was about $185.

The meal ended and I tried to stay away from the table and switched them to ice water, etc. I checked on them and she said she might have another glass of wine... if he would have another drink, He then LOOKED AT ME AND SAId, "I don't know should I have another drink." Like, wink, wink, you'll have to comp it. I said, 'I don't know. ' THEN HE ORDERED ANOTHER DRINK!!!! ANOTHER ROUND!!! HE ALREADY DOESN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY HIS BILL. NOW, his bill is $220.

So, I finally dropped the check and ran. He then asked for a manager, while he was up at the front of the restaurant I went to talk to the lady with the intention of telling her how full of shit this guy was. . . She was all smiles. Turns out after he returned the first time she told him that she was bothered that he left her at the table and he fed her some bullshit that he went to meet the OWNER of the hotel, because he is a big business man and he needs to do things like that! SERIOUSLY, she bought it. THEN as he is negotiating payment he doesn't have, she thinks he is talking to the manager about ordering dessert and another glass of wine because they didn't realize the kitchen had closed. She thought he was being a huge hero by getting her a "special wine" and getting her dessert. While really, he was negotiating with my manager, leaving his drivers license, a check, and $100 saying he would come by tomorrow and pay for it. RETARDED>

I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her the truth. I sort of feel that it is her fault she is in that situation. If she wasn't so obsessed with how much money he made, would she see through the lies?!

How desperate for love and companionship is she that she will wear blinders to create the perfect man?!

It really is the City of Lost Angels. 


Friday, September 16, 2011

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

     Once you get past a certain age you don't necessarily get to have a Summer Vacation, time keeps ticking, days keep flying and before you know it you didn't even have time to buy a new bathing suit. I managed to remedy this situation for myself this summer. How can one do that you ask? Let me paint a lovely picture.
      It was a lovely summer day in Pueblo, CO, the 4th of July actually. I happened to be in town for the wedding of one of my best friends from college and thought I should use this time to see my family and enjoy a national holiday that I usually spend working. In the summer my family is super fancy and we set up an above ground swimming pool to relax and cool down on hot Pueblo days. Take that Jones'. With a small group of family members on hand we settled into a relaxing day sunning and sipping on some cold beers, anticipating the delicious burger that would come later in the day.
      My mom made homemade Peach ice cream in our ice cream maker just like when we were kids. You know the ice cream maker that makes that reeerrrraarr  reeeerrrraaarrr sound and every 20 seconds the ice jams and you have to frantically pull the cord out of the wall and un-stick it. I actually chose to rock a bikini for the first time in my life. I've always been too shy and too insecure about my body to do it, but I figured if I couldn't rock it in front of my family then who could I rock it in front of? Might as well take it for a test run.
      I was being especially cautious of getting a sunburn because I had to change my flight home to return early because I had a callback for a TIDE commercial. I was especially excited about this because it was my first commercial auditions in a few months and with my new agent! I asked my dad for a hat, applied tons of sunscreen and made sure to take breaks from the sun to protect my delicate skin.
      When my family gets together we have more fun than most best friends, laughter abounds and hijinks ensue. For example, in the picture below, Sara strategically dumped Jen as Tony snapped this picture! Disaster was averted as Jen managed to save the beer from drowning.
    We were all home for Memorial Day Weekend as well and since the pool hadn't been set up yet my sister Ashley went and bought a kiddie pool and a Slip N Slide. Of course, we decided it wouldn't be a holiday weekend without some water balloons and a Slip n Slide. Here's the thing, I didn't participate in the Slip n Slide madness on Memorial Day. I wish I could say the same about the 4th of July. As the day progressed we migrated from the pool over to the now infamous Slip n Slide, which are much fancier than when we were kids. It used to be a piece of yellow plastic that you put on the lawn with the hose resting on the end of it. When you ran and hurled your body onto the Slip n Slide you had to be careful not to hit the head of the hose on your way down. Kids today have it easy, man when did I get so old, I used to walk to school, uphill, barefoot in the snow, Ha! The Slip N Slides today are FANCY. You hook the hose up to a nozzle in the Slip N Slide and it shoots a waterfall of water down the runway that ends in a little kiddie pool of its own. AND it comes with an inflatable Slide Boogie that you can use to break your fall from air to plastic.
The Culprit     
      The thing about playing on a Slip n Slide as an adult is that you get bored easily just running and sliding on your stomach. Sooner rather than later you find yourself attempting a barrel roll or trying to slide backwards. Or, eventually, you do what I did, you cartwheel, then leap sideways and slide, ala Tom Cruise in "Risky Business".

      Tom Cruise definitely had a more graceful ending than I did. As I slid down the Slip n Slide post cartwheel I suddenly stopped, my left ankle turned a few ways it shouldn't go and I went down screaming. I looked down and my foot was facing a way you never, ever want to see your foot go. I instinctively reached down and pushed my foot the other way and felt a few bones move. Luckily for me, the emergency response of my family is incredibly fast. My new-found friend Rick, sat on the Slip n Slide with my head in his lap, stroking my face, calming me down as Sara held my hand. I was incredibly proud that in the midst of all this trauma I cracked a little joke, telling Rick, "It's nice to meet you, Rick." My physical therapist mother and firefighter father came out and assessed the situation as my mother so astutely responded, "We've gotta go to the hospital Bill." In the blink of an eye, my cousin Liberty ran and fetched my wallet, Sara threw her dress over my head, my Mom splinted the break with the inflatable Slide Boogie and some tape, my Dad and Brother brought over a chair, lifted me into the chair, carried me to the car that Liberty had pulled around, with pillows in the back seat and they loaded me into Ambulance de Liberty and before I knew it I was screaming at my mother who was simply trying to put me into a wheelchair to get me into the E.R.
    I don't think I have ever been in that amount of pain nor do I ever want to experience that again AND I had had a few beers by then. God help the person who has to experience that pain sober.  In fact I used one curse word so many times in the E.R. that my mom finally turned to me and said, "Find a new word!" I won't walk you through the rest of the experience though I did get the opportunity to be weighed like a dolphin! When I announced that to my family as they arrived to visit me later they just thought I was hopped up on morphine, but I swear the nurse told me that when they weighed me. Oh well, at least she didn't say this is how you weigh a whale?!
Oliver keeps me company in the hospital!

     I somehow managed to pull off a trimalleolar fracture breaking 3 bones where they connect at the ankle and dislocating it. We had to wait for the food and alcohol to get out of my system before I could go into surgery, but alas, by that time my foot was too swollen. I was sent home with a splint and 3 broken bones. I flew home to Los Angeles with my Mom in time to film a short film I had booked prior to the accident. Flying with a broken bone is fun in the sense that you get to be wheeled all around the airport and cut straight in front of people in the security line. It's not fun once you start gaining altitude, but I made it home and made it through the film shoot. On July 15th I went to the hospital and finally had surgery. I am now the proud owner of some plates and pins in my left foot and will only accept being called a Bionic woman from now on.
   It's been a little over two months since this happened and I'm getting there. I think I will save what I've learned from Life on Crutches for another blog. There's something to be said about losing your freedom of movement and having to slow down your life and take some time for yourself. Lessons to be learned everywhere. If I learned anything its that God will strike you down if you choose to rock a bikini!  ; )



Needless to say I missed that callback for TIDE. . .  I didn't get sunburned though! 

Friday, August 26, 2011

A Poem I wrote today.

A Lesson

   Together we found destiny  
   Together we destroyed love  
   Together we knew deep connection  
   Together  we held one another back  
   It's not supposed to happen like this  
   The knowing, trust and guidance should show  
   That no matter where we are in life  
   A true connection between us remains.  

   So, how to move forward and know its right  
   With other lovers, joys and pains?  
   To release a destiny we've always known  
   Learning lessons that are vital to truth  
   Understanding that what's meant to be is  
   And accepting true heartache as the norm   
   There will always be a mourning inside  
  As I release you, you release me  
To fully experience life.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

~ Creating a Vision ~


This blog originally appeared as a guest blog on http://psychiceveryday.com for Kris Cahill!

Creating A Vision

The idea of creating a vision always seemed like an impossible challenge. Meditating. The mere practice of breathing and imagining my life as I envisioned it seemed nearly impossible. Impossible and Staggering and Stifling, definitely all of the things that meditating is NOT supposed to be.

If I were to envision myself meditating it would play out like a scene in a movie.

Fade In

INT : Elizabeth’s lovely apartment

Elizabeth sits in the middle of the floor on a cozy pillow with a single candle lit in front of her.  She has her legs crossed like every good meditating student does with her hands facing upward on her thighs.

She takes a deep breath, and another one. She adjusts her position on the pillow. She takes a determined deep breath.

                                                ELIZABETH
                        You can do this. It’s easy. Just breathe. Focus.

Elizabeth takes another deep breath. A few minutes pass. Slowly Elizabeth opens one eye, and then scrunches them both shut again.  Letting out a frustrated sigh.

                                                ELIZABETH
                        Maybe if I lay down. Ya. That seems like a great idea.
                        Let’s try that. Good call. Much more relaxed.

Elizabeth lies flat on the ground, shifting a little, back and forth. She finally seems to relax. A few minutes pass and we suddenly hear a loud snore. She’s asleep.

END SCENE

You get the idea? I’ve made meditating and being able to create a vision in my head so important in the past that I’ve actually talked myself OUT of doing it. Who needs meditation if it’s so stressful? Isn’t meditation supposed to actually relax you?

Still, the subject of meditation kept coming up in my life. I’ve learned that if something continually makes an appearance in my life it’s probably something that I should be reading, studying, paying attention to, etc.  I decided that I would take one of Kris’s Grounding meditation workshops and it was through Kris that I discovered my secret to creating a vision!

Creating a Vision MUST BE FUN! When Kris first introduced the idea of a grounding cord going from my first chakra to the center of the earth to me she gave me a vital piece of information that I was missing. She told me that I could envision the grounding cord as any color, any material, and any shape that I liked! It could be red, shiny sequins, or a brilliant, blue waterfall, a strong, beaming, stream of light. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was fun and it made me laugh.

As long as it is fun and makes you laugh. This one simple suggestion has cracked open an entire world for me. Which, when I think about it, makes sense. I LOVE to laugh. It is my number one favorite thing to do on the planet. Well, maybe kissing is number one, but laughing and making people laugh run a very close second.

With Kris’s piece of advice I moved into her Psychic Meditation Workshop and soon discovered that I could visualize a rose to put all of my stresses into, watch it turn brown and die and then delight in blowing it up! Sending all of that energy and stress back where it came from was so freeing!

Being clairvoyant and seeing visions or symbols as guidance was a whole different beast. Even though I had now found freedom in meditation, which I began to think of as daydreaming; what’s more fun daydreaming or meditating?  Daydreaming, hands down.  I suddenly found myself sitting in silence with a massive smile on my face as I imagined my wedding, or arriving on set everyday for the television show that I’m a series regular on. Once I started to open up my own psychic gifts and make an attempt at clairvoyance I thought for sure that I would not be able to do it. I was in no way, shape or form a clairvoyant. 

I didn’t realize that clairvoyance has such a broad definition to it. The term clairvoyance (from 17th century French with clair meaning "clear" and voyance meaning "vision") is used to refer to the ability to gain information about an object, person, location or physical event through means other than the known human senses. I know that this seems like a standard definition, but another amazing teacher I stumbled upon helped me to expand my understanding of it. This January I found myself in a Psychic Mediumship Development Class taught by Marilyn Alauria, one of the best Psychic Mediums out there, and it was through her class that I realized I was already clairvoyant.

I have for the past 6 months or so, consistently looked at the clock at 2:22, 3:33, 4:44, etc. Marilyn stressed to us that seeing repeating numbers, specific words, or a specific animal over and over again are also considered a form of clairvoyance. It’s having the wherewithal to recognize the signs and being able to interpret them that makes you a practicing clairvoyant.

As class progressed with Marilyn we were introduced to our guides. I instantly thought, there’s no way I will be able to recognize my guides, let alone be able to talk to them. Just then, Marilyn said the magic words, “It doesn’t matter if it’s actually your guides or your imagination. Run with it, run with anything you get and before long you will see that you are actually being given a guide instead of making one up.”  The freedom to have fun, the freedom to play and the freedom to imagine is all it takes to connect to your own clairvoyance.  I chose in that moment to just run with it and when a sprite like little guide appeared at my feet I thought, hmmm, that’s funny, why not? This particular guide doesn’t really make an appearance any more, so its definitely possible that he was one that I imagined. The point is, is that it doesn’t matter. If we can get back to our sense of play, vivid imaginations and getting lost in daydreams we will all be able to create the most incredible visions for our lives. The greatest thing about this is that whether we see quick results or not, we will want to keep doing it simply for the fun and the escape that it provides.

I was also introduced to my “higher self” through a meditation in Marilyn’s class. I don’t think that I would have had such a strong image or knowing of my higher self without the permission to play. When I think about what a “higher self” is supposed to be I instantly get images of Gandhi, Buddha, Jesus, or someone like Mother Theresa.  My higher self is ridiculous. She’s funny, beautiful and creative. A heightened version of myself . . . or a higher one, ahhhh, now “higher self” makes SO much more sense. Just kidding.

In the meditation, Marilyn led us to a house where our higher selves lived. She asked us to walk up to the porch and climb the stairs to the front door. My higher self was standing behind the screen door of this lovely, Craftsman like house, waiting excitedly for me. She was about to open the door to greet me when Marilyn said, “Walk through the house to the sunroom where your higher self is waiting for you.” My higher self suddenly exclaimed, “Oh!” and turned and ran to the sunroom. Once I arrived there, she was sitting in a chair with her back turned to me, I entered, and she turned dramatically towards me. Such a ham!!! Since that meditation I’ve begun to call upon my higher self a lot for guidance and understanding. She never disappoints.

I know that you’re reading this thinking, “But couldn’t that still be your imagination?” I would agree with you, except for the fact that she now appears to me when I’m not trying to connect with her. For instance, I was at Cardio Barre, an intense workout that I love, but is really, really hard. One day I was feeling particularly weak and down on myself, not sure if I could continue. I suddenly had a vision of my higher self. She was dressed in a 1980’s style, insanely high cut leotard with tights, leg warmers and full on headband taming the wild hair. She was probably working out to a Jane Fonda video, but whatever it was, she was really into it, having a great time and encouraging me to do the same. I think I may have even laughed out loud in class, which always goes over extremely well in the middle of a class workout, no one looks crazier than when you’re laughing out loud doing a brutal workout. Who cares? It got me out of my momentary funk and I was able to kick ass during the class! Man, I love that crazier, higher self of mine. Her flair for the dramatic is off the charts!

Whether you’re trying to tap into your clairvoyance, struggling to meditate, visualizing the life you want or simply daydreaming, I urge you to allow fun into your practice.  If anything, it will brighten your day; give you a much needed laugh and brighter smile. My guess is it will also give you a clearer vision of your own life. Clarity is key. Happy Daydreaming!


You can reach Kris Cahill at http://psychiceveryday.com or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kris-Cahill-Psychic

and you can reach Marilyn at www.moonridgespirit.com















Thursday, June 16, 2011

21 Day Challenge Check in

I started a challenge with myself a few weeks ago that I would do certain things everyday. As I've progressed on this journey I have struggled to simply observe what's been happening or not happening, and to learn from the process as opposed to beating myself up over not completing everything on my check list everyday.

I'm actually quite surprised by what's been slipping through the cracks and NOT getting checked off my list! The one thing that I started this project for, to write everyday, my own stuff, has not gotten done ONCE. Which forces me to ask, is this something that I really want to do? Is it that 2 hours seems so overwhelming? Would 1 hour be more achievable?


I don't know that I have any answers yet, but will continue with the challenge to see how it plays out. Truthfully, a LOT of the time, I'm simply running out of hours in my day. So, its most likely going to have to be a shifting of my priorities, a change in my schedule to make room for something that is important to me. Because in reality, writing is important to me and something that I want to make room for in my life.

There was even one day when only the affirmations got done because I was hungover from the night before. Normally when I drink too much and am hung over the next day I beat myself up in An incredible way. . . not sure where this comes from . . . but this time was so different. I had such a delightful evening that night at my favorite place, Covell, with two of my favorite people, Mapuana and Erin and all of my favorite people working that night, Eduardo, Doug, Matt and Dustin, that it was simply impossible to beat myself up for having such a good time. Of course I could choose in the future to have a delightful evening of the like kind without having to be so hungover. This day I choose to accept that sometimes, I am authentically a person who likes to drink a little too much. I would re-live that night over and over again. The crazy thing is all we did was sit at the bar, enjoy some AMAZING wine, AMAZING company and laugh and giggle our way through the night! No shenanigans, just pure, honest, open, connection with some pretty amazing people!



On a positive note, most everyday I have been Free Writing, meditating and reciting the 5 affirmations in the mirror 21 times. More often than not I work out 45-60 minutes a day, which has been GREATLY helped by the fact that I rescued a puppy and in order to wear her out I HAVE to take her on long walks everyday. I think this could be a GREAT new diet fad and reality show! Give over-weight people a hyper active dog that HAS to be exercised and watch how quickly they lose the weight! Actually, the more I think about it, we could be killing two birds with one stone, helping people lose weight AND rescuing animals that need homes. . .hmmm . . . Someone write that down!

Ohhh, I just did! ; )

The Puppy!                                            Miss Audrey Go-Lightly



Eating Healthy is another thing one my check list. I am happy to report that this has also been achieved most everyday! There are some days when I've found myself stress eating at midnight after a long day of work, but its okay, because I'm learning that sometimes I'm a stress eater. I still haven't fully launched the "Fat Flush" that I wanted to, but this begs the question, is this something that I really want to do. Do I really want to be a size 6? or Do I want to love and accept my body as it is and rock the size 10 that I am? This was asked of me yesterday and to be honest with you and with myself, I still don't know the answer to my question.


I have wanted to achieve my goal of being a size 6 for about 5 years now. . . but if I really wanted to do it, why haven't I yet? Is it the number that's off putting? I know that I REALLY REALLY want to rock a white bikini someday (I don't know why WHITE, with my skin tone its probably not the best choice, but I REALLY want one) and I really want to have long, lean dancer type muscles that I get when I consistently do Cardio Barre or Tracy Effinger's Squeeze workout.

What I REALLY want more than anything is to be in a place where I love and accept myself for who I am, not matter what size, no matter how my muscles look, to be able to say, I have a BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING Body that is UNIQUELY my own and I CHOOSE to ROCK IT no matter what numbers are attached to it. IF I can get to that place I bet I would rock a killer bikini in ANY color!

:)

Perhaps I shall add that to my checklist and wake everyday claiming, I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING, SEXY Body That is UNIQUELY MY OWN and I CHOOSE TO ROCK IT!

Ooooo that feels GOOD!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

21 Day Challenge- Shattering Resistance and Old Patterns!

I started a 21 day Challenge with myself today. EVERYDAY these are the things I promise to do for myself. . . It's an experiment, it can't hurt, I say WHY not. . .

Everyday I Will
  • Free Write 3 Pages as soon as I wake up
  • Meditate
  • 45-60 minutes of exercise
  • Repeat the following 5 affirmations in the mirror 21 times.
    • I am Powerful
    • I'm lucky
    • I am enough.
    • I am a Millionaire
    • I love you.
  • Write for 2 hours (my stuff, scripts, blogs, etc)
  • Eat Healthy
  • Write a gratitude list at night before I go to bed of 5 things I'm grateful for from that day and 5 things that I love about myself. 
I have been planning on challenging myself to something like this for awhile. I decided to start today, 6/2/11 because it would end on 6/22/11 and I liked the numbers in all of those dates. Today I knew I was gonna start it, but did nothing until around 2:45, when I quite simply could NOT sit still anymore. I was anxious, feeling terrible, nervous about a silly boy (for no reason), distracted and unhappy. I MADE myself get up and repeat the 5 affirmations in the mirror. I don't know what it was, but that SIMPLE little action lifted my spirits immediately and I had the drive to go for a run/ walk! I have always thought the affirmations in the mirror were a little weird and didn't know if they would work or not, but I think I'm sold on day one simply because it put me in an instantaneous better mood, and I was able to break a pattern.  In the past I would have just resigned to a nap/watching TV and then proceeded to beat myself up for the rest of the day for not being accountable to myself.

Why is it that we can be so accountable to other people, but when it comes to being accountable for ourselves we just can't seem to do it?

It ends today. Wanna take the challenge with me?

Shattering Resistance and Old Patterns!

Shatter Away!
Yippee!!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Shattering the Death of Osama Bin Laden and the many Reactions. . .

This week we saw an epic event occur. President Barack Obama was able to FINALLY kill the man responsible for the terror that was 9/11. The terror and loss still haunts every American today and will linger as an open wound with us for a very, very long time.  I was working at an event at the W Hollywood on Sunday night when the news started to break. A very friendly guest had requested to take a picture with my beautiful friend Mapuana and I and we were in the process of doing just that when he got a phone call from a friend with the news of Bin Laden's death. I thought, "Wow, that is definitely the last piece of news I thought I would be receiving in this already odd scenario." 


The rest of the event unfolded easily and rapidly, we were near the end of it anyway, but I kept wondering what it was that was so unsettling with the outbursts of cheering that kept erupting over the party as everyone spread the news. I know this is good news. I know that it provides a lot of healing and closure for many families affected by the losses we incurred on 9/11. As I checked Facebook I only got more and more unsettled by the cheering and the huzzahing at the death of a life. From an evolution stand point and a humanity stand point, there is just something that sits wrong at the cheering of anyone's death. It feels like it rips us back to the days when entertainment was provided by watching a human being torn to pieces by a lion in a huge stadium. Evolving backward is not the direction we need to be going. 


As I write this, I know that there are people who are going to respond strongly to this blog. They are going to be angry at me for showing even a small amount of compassion for such a horrible human being. I still couldn't shake the overwhelming discomfort that I felt.  The more and more I thought about it, the more I decided to see it as a lifting of darkness. To see that the removal of Bin Laden's dark energy from this planet will allow Bright Light and positive energy to vibrate at a higher level, shine even brighter. 


Finally, that night, on Face Book one of my cousins posted what I was too afraid to say, "Happy about the news, yet somehow uncomfortable with the cheering of a death." As the night went on I saw more and more people come forward reminding others that perhaps celebrating was not the best way to allow peace to return to our world. 


Mariannne Willamson posted,
"I hope Bin Laden's death brings a sense of justice to those who lost loved ones on 9/11, and I'm grateful to those in our military etc. who worked so hard to find him. I hope whatever destructive influence he still had is now ended. That being said, however, the celebrations outside the White House seem naive to me. Tonight is a night for sober and mature reflection, not glee."
 I saw multiple friends post: 
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr.

and 
"The conduct of war is that of a funeral;
when people are killed, it is a time of mourning.
This is why even victorious battle
should be observed without rejoicing." - Lao Tzu
 I think for me, the most bothersome thing is that hate begets hate and the energy behind the celebrations was one of hate. There are people in this world who have been victims of heinous crimes who have looked their attackers in the face and granted them forgiveness. These people know that forgiveness is not for the forgiven but for the person doing the forgiving. 
I only hope that everyone can allow the light to permeate their heart and release the darkness that was Osama Bin Laden. He's taken enough of our light away for now, do not allow him to hold us in darkness. The world is a better place for having his darkness removed. 
The best thing we can do is follow our leader, Obama, who so eloquently said, "So his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity." Reminding us all that this is a step towards peace and a reminder to honor human dignity.
There is an odd coincidence or perhaps not, with the date that Osama was killed. Hitler committed suicide on April 30, 1945 almost exactly 66 years to the day that Osama was killed. I believe in signs and repeating numbers are a huge part of that. When I saw the significance of 66 years, I immediately looked up what the number 6 means. For me, the number 6 is a reminder of Harmony, Balance, Sincerity, love and truth, reminding us to --- administer compassion and consciously choose forgiveness.
Pretty incredible. Please also check out Dee Wallace's blog post about this. . . she seems to communicate what I hope I was also able to share. 
http://iamdeewallace.blogspot.com/2011/05/enigma-of-osama-bin-laden-and-us.html

Friday, April 29, 2011

Blast from the Past --- I Used to Be a Stalker!

I found this old blog on another blog I used to have and wanted to share it with you all! So funny! Here it is, in its entirety from 2008. . . . I even mention MY SPACE, so you KNOW it's old ;)
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I was thinking the other day about college and high school and my early to mid twenties and I realized something slightly alarming. I used to be a stalker. Well, not a full blown, stalker-stalker, but a mild stalker.

What made me realize this?? Well, I found this guy, Seth, that I had a thing for in college and sent him a message on My Space and he has yet to respond. . . so, I got to thinking. . .WHY wouldn't he want to write me? We always had a good time . . .I prob liked him a little too much, but that is what I did. . .I saw a GLIMMER of hope and I fell hard. Attractive right?! Boys love that stuff right?! Wrong.

Here is the issue. I used to be a lot heavier than I am now. Fatter. Fatter would be the appropriate word. Not HUGE, but about 40 lbs over-weight. I was the really funny, (I"m still funny), cute girl that had a couple hot friends who always scored the boys. Occasionally I would attract one with my charming and sweet personality, but would ruin it with incessant phone calls and FAR too much drama for just a couple dates! : ) 

I was reading a journal from college the other day and it was full of things about boys! Boys! Boys! Boys! I was boy crazy. I was once so proud of myself for calling this boy Luke that I saw in a play! I didn't know him, but looked him up in the school directory and called him. We hung out for a bit til my stalker-ish desperate behavior pushed him away. You know what? I am still kind of proud of myself for calling him, that was something outside of my box and I am glad I did it.

There was one boy I just couldn't get enough of. And he was NOT the most stable person. He lived in a neighboring college town and I remember the first time I saw him. My girlfriends and I were dancing on this sunken dance floor at Washington's in Fort Collins and he and his friends walked by. We locked eyes and I was gone. Gorgeous, just out of the military, funny and charming too. Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself, he came onto the dance floor, but I couldn't tell which one of the 4 of us he was after, so I made my move. I stepped out of the circle and just "jumped" him. In a classy, freakin', dancin' kind of way. There was something about the way that boy moved against my body.  It just made me instantly think about the other kind of moving we could do together! (slow dancing! Get your minds out of the gutter.)  We danced for  a bit and I do think he actually liked me. For me. And for my sexy dance moves. At the end of the night, when the blaring fluorescent lights came on like they do at 1:30 a.m. He and I were the last to leave the dance floor and he blurted out his phone #. I went, "What?" He repeated it and I went OK. Shockingly, I remembered it, NO! NOT SHOCKINGLY I am a stalker remember!  We proceeded to have many a phone call and the remainder of our relationship was pretty much that. He always had another girlfriend, but we just had this connection. I don't know that he felt it to, but I don't think it was one-sided. The night before I moved to California we ran into each other in this bar. He asked when I was leaving and when I said, "Tomorrow!" He said " What?! No! That sucks!  Listen, I am so wasted right now, I am going to try and call you when I get home, but if I pass out, which I probably will, PLEASE call me  tomorrow." OK. The phone never rang that night, shocker, but I did call him the next day. He took me to lunch and he morphed into this gentleman that I did not know existed. He opened doors for me, he bought me lunch. He was so polite. I knew he had it in him. I visited a couple years after that last meeting and things had just deteriorated from where I last saw him, he was doing some hard core drugs and didn't want to hear any advice to the contrary. I think about him a lot and just hope that he is doing well. I occasionally look him up on Google, but have yet to hire a private eye to find him. My Stalking days are over.

So, to all those boys who were victims of a scared, lonely, self-conscious girl just looking for a little love, trying to figure herself out, I want to say Sorry. Sorry I was creepy and needy and a little weird. To be fair, you did your fair share of leading on, I didn't bark up the totally wrong trees.If you are one of those boys and you want to write a comment and let me know you forgive me, or tell your side. . . . feel free. I do also want to say Thank you. You helped shape me into the person I am today and I really love myself! (You sort of missed out!)

So, Trevor, Seth, Travis, Luke, Josh, Matt, Brian, Steve, Tyler, Doug, Jade, Stephen,  and any other boys I may have called too much, emailed too much, left notes for, cried over, laughed with, ('m not sorry for the laughing)  I am sorry. Also, I am much more confident, sexy and strong now and if you're single, leave me a message and I'll give you a call.

Kidding. Kidding, I am in a very happy relationship right now and don't need you anymore. Just for the memories.


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Though I fancy myself a much more secure, grown up (single) woman now, I do still appreciate the lessons I learned from all of these experiences. . . Ohhh and featured boy update, he now lives in the mid west, is married and has a daughter, which makes me SOOOOOOO happy that I don't have to worry about him anymore~

Monday, April 25, 2011

Shattering WHY I Keep Attracting Unavailable Men . . .

I've been back on the "dating market" for almost two years now. Well, if you count the year it took for my ex and I to wiggle out of one another's grasps, its been about a year. I wouldn't say that I've been actively pursuing another relationship for that entire time, but I've been open to it. I have played around on some online dating websites, never opting to pay for a site like Match.com, but poking around on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, which are both free sites, and well, let's just say that you get what you pay for.

Lately I have met a string of very interesting, attractive and successful men. They have all seemed interested in me, tell me how wonderful they think I am. Enjoy talking to me, text me occasionally and for all intents and purposes are "showing up" for me, in a way men hadn't been doing for the last year or so. The only thing was, they were all unavailable.  I would normally chalk it up to bad luck, or divine protection, but this last string of unavailable men happened all within one month. I'm conscious enough to know that when something like this happens over and over again in my life, its something I need to look at. A friend and I were talking about this new development in my love life and contemplated what all of these unavailable men coming into my life could mean.  Knowing that things are brought into your consciousness almost like a mirror being held up to you, so you can realize what beliefs you're holding about yourself, she asked me, "In what way are you being unavailable to yourself?" After we talked about it I realized that they weren't unavailable, they were all "committed to other women.' Though they were all showing up for me and telling me how amazing they think I am, funny, talented, pretty, charming, etc, they were all choosing to commit to other women. This started on a smaller scale almost a year ago.

One of the first guys I met on Plenty of Fish and actually hung out with a few times was a pretty cool guy. We got along really well, seemed to have similar interests and backgrounds, plus, he was a good kisser. I'm a sucker for a good kisser. Shortly after the dates he and I went on he decided to start dating another girl. Therefore ending our casual dating relationship. Though it hasn't ended there. Not really. We decided to stay friends, so we did. Yet, there's still the underlying flirtation in every text and every conversation. Which, admittedly so, I egg on and kind of like. In my own twisted way, I liked the validation and the attention. Yes, its sad, and yes I've grown out of that phase. Okay, maybe not completely. Needing validation from others and loving myself for the unique, bright light that I am is something I've been working on for a few years now and I am very happy to report that I consistently love myself more on a daily basis. I realize that my light is uniquely my own and if people don't see it or want to bask in the glow of it, there's not much for me to be gained there anyway. Instead of trying to make them want to experience and love my light, I simply realize, maybe they aren't my people and there's nothing wrong with that. Why waste energy on someone like that?

Anyway, I went on a little tangent there for a minute. Back on subject, online guy and I text back and forth occasionally, we toy around with the idea of getting together, and when his girlfriend was out of town recently, tried to make plans with me for "a little trouble". This fascinates me. What is it that makes a man want to cheat on his girlfriend. This is probably another reason that I've stayed in touch with this guy. I can't figure it out to save my life. If you have chosen to be with someone, in a committed relationship and even live with them, why would you actively seek out other women. For me, that seems like a red flag that something is wrong in your relationship. Could  it be that he is simply seeking some of the validation that I seek myself? I know it's not really my job to analyze his part in this, or hers, its only my job to understand what my part was and to learn and grow from it.

My book club read an incredible book, "The Madonnas of Echo Park" by Brando Skyhorse, in it he has a passage about men and cheating. It resonated with me so much that I underlined the passage, and I never do that.

"When a man cheats on someone he's made a vow to love, honor and obey for the rest of his life, that list protects him, gives him courage, helps him reach the one lie that makes all deceit possible. I deserve this. In bed with that new woman, you feel your head, and sensation dangling between your legs, swell. This lasts until morning, when your sensation is the size of a flea and your only possessions are the lies you told them to get into bed. You guard those lies with your life, because to admit the truth is to admit how weak you are." ---The Madonnas of Echo Park pg 11 -- Brando Skyhorse

More recently. . .

I met a fabulous guy in Boston who lives in New York, because I also have an uncanny ability to attract men who live in NY, and after a lovely conversation, he told me he had a girlfriend back home. We continued our conversation as the grown adults that we were and quickly discovered that we had a lot in common and both enjoyed each others company. It was a definite case of "Another place, another time". Different circumstances and perhaps things would have been different. The amazing thing about my Gamer boy ( he works in video games) was how incredibly loyal he was and is to his girlfriend, even though they were having problems and possibly heading towards ending their relationship, he never once made an inappropriate move or did anything to disrespect his girlfriend or me. I know that this shouldn't seem like such an amazing feat, but its been awhile since I have come across a gentlemen like Gamer. Again, he was showing up for me, saying wonderful, lovely things like, "You're so funny, smart and charming, why don't you have a boyfriend?" Yet, as far as I know has remained committed to another woman, since we haven't had any contact since we met, I wouldn't know if they broke up or not.

A few weeks after that, I waited on a guy at my job who also seemed like a stand up guy. He is successful, spiritual, involved in charity and interested in helping me out with my career. There's nothing wrong with him, except for the fact that he's happily married and loves being a father to his two kids. I don't know that he necessarily fits into my pattern of men choosing to commit to other women, but he was a definite reminder that there are solid men out there, who want families and wives, the whole nine yards.

A few weeks after that, I sat next to a very interesting, Sexy Italian Man on a plane. Again, successful, ambitious, working with an organization to help save children from internet predators. I thought the universe had a great sense of humor with this one, because if I did end up with this Sexy Italian Man, I would find it very ironic, seeing as how he makes his living playing with very large guns and training counter-terrorism units and SWAT teams around the world. All of these things he does for great reasons, and for the right reasons, which is very attractive, but man, I dislike guns and their ability to rip a life away from someone before you even have a second to think about the consequences of your actions. I'm definitely a lover, not a fighter. We had a great conversation on the plane, exchanged info and have stayed in touch. He also recently informed me that he was newly dating a girl in London. This one chose to commit to a girl he has to fly across the world to see, instead of driving ten miles through the city of Los Angeles, which may actually take as long as flying to London, on certain days. ;) 

A week later, I had coffee with an actor guy I met through mutual friends in December. We had hung out a few times in January, had some successful dates I thought, though he then disappeared off the face of the planet. When we met for coffee, we had a fabulous conversation where we were both able to say what we thought had happened back in February, and promised to be honest with one another. We both expressed interest in spending more time together and I left the conversation thinking, wow, that was great, how grown up was that?! Neither of us mentioned whether we wanted to date or just be friends. . . danced around it I suppose. One can only handle SO much honest conversation and confrontation in one night ; ) After a few glasses of wine that night, we were texting back and forth and I mentioned something about kissing each other again, to which he replied, "Ohhh I should tell you I've been dating someone for a couple weeks now." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Forget the fact that he had looked me in the eyes and told me he just wanted to be honest with me, a few hours earlier, yet neglected to mention this newfound "dating".

So, needless to say, a pattern emerged in my life and I was forced to look at it. Why are all of these seemingly wonderful men who are all in line with the type of man I want to bring into my life, choosing to commit to other women? In what way was I not committing to myself in my own life? As soon as I said it out loud using THOSE words, I had a MAJOR AHA moment. I had created some wonderful opportunities in my life lately, I have two writing gigs that I'm actually getting paid for, I'm teaching at a Montessori school, I work at 2 restaurants, baby sit occasionally, and have been very, very busy lately. SO busy focusing on writing for other people that I have no time to put into my own creative ideas. I have ideas for scripts, blogs, TV shows, etc, flying at me from every direction these days, yet was not committing to my own creativity, so the universe found a way to show that to me.

Amazing. Now that I realize WHY all of these men were being brought into my life, I'm incredibly grateful for the lesson, but MAN, that was a tough one to work out. Since then I have dialed back my obligations to other people and am spending more time working on my own creativity with things like writing this blog!

I fully expect now to meet the man of my dreams that encompasses all of the amazing qualities I got glimpses of in all of these other men . . . right universe?! Universe?!

Happy Shattering!

If you are looking for a great read, please take the time to check out my acting coach, healer and friend Dee Wallace's amazing new book, Bright Light: Spiritual Lessons from A Life in Acting! Available TOMORROW!!!
http://iamdeewallace.com/home/bright_light.html

Monday, March 28, 2011

White Irish Drinkers

White Irish Drinkers is a film that is slowly finding its following. This little film that could, can and will, is worth tracking down in a nearby town and taking the time to enjoy. This film that was written and directed by John Gray, the creator of the television show, "Ghost Whisperer" was a labor of love and obviously very close to Mr Gray's heart. The importance of this project to Mr Gray and everyone involved in the production is evident in every frame of the movie.

The movie takes place in early autumn of 1975 in Brooklyn where two brothers Bryan Leary (Nick Thurston) and his older brother Danny (Geoff Wigdor) spend their days killing time and pulling off small time crimes. It is obvious from the beginning of the movie that Bryan wants nothing to do with the criminal side of life, even though its a fate the Leary brothers seem to be destined for. Trapped within the walls of Brooklyn and the home of an abusive, alcoholic father Paddy (Stephen Lang) and their tired, weary mother  (Karen Allen), the brothers can't imagine that there's a life outside of the one they're stuck in. Bryan knows that he isn't interested in the normal 9 to 5 Civil Service jobs that his group of friends are all dying to get. His friends have some hilarious exchanges about dying to get "benes" (benefits) and vacation time, retirement and a steady gig serving their community. The only thing Bryan can seem to find solace in is art. He is a secretly, talented painter. He spends his nights in the basement storage room of the deli below their apartment with his headphones on to drown out the beating his abusive father is giving his dutiful mother right upstairs as he draws.

Bryan doesn't share his artistic talents with anyone. His mother doesn't even know that he has them. Danny does, but he looks at it as a pansy way to pass the time. One night, while out at the bar, Bryan runs into Shauna Friel (Leslie Murphy) an old high school crush. In order to one up his college buddy, Todd (Zachary Booth) who swoops in to put the moves on Shauna, he comes up with a creative way to get Shauna's attention. Which I won't ruin for you, because its a lovely scene and sets in motion a wonderful little dance of romance between Bryan and Shauna. I will say that I was impressed with the way that Bryan left the scene, as it was quite unexpected, but definitely peaked all of the ladies in the theatres interest as well as Shauna's. You'll understand what I mean when you see it.

It's Bryan's relationship with Shauna that ignites his dreams and inspires him to think beyond the walls of Brooklyn. But it will be his relationship with his brother that tests his loyalty to his family and how far he is willing to go to rescue Danny. The brothers have spent their whole lives taking care of one another and looking out for each other, even if it does explode into fist fights every now and then. They are still brothers and there's nothing they won't do for one another.  I won't tell you anymore of the plot, wanting you to be able to go on the ride that I and every person in the theatre seemed to go on!

It's the kind of story that you feel and know will touch a lot of people. It's a movie reminiscent of "The Town" and while Boston has become the typical back drop for these movies, Brooklyn steps forward as its equally interesting cousin. The city is the perfect setting to tell this story. The cinematography of Seamus Tierney is stunning and so perfectly executed. The script is clever and witty at times, full of hope and love at other times and full of emotion and heartbreaking circumstance at others. The story is a familiar one, but still managed to surprise me and catch me off guard!

The acting is impeccable, a tour de force of artists, that as a fellow actor, I will one day be honored if I can come even remotely close to the commitment and layered performances that every single one of them turned in. Russell Boast, the casting director clearly took his time to find not only talented, real, actors, but ones who would gel together and could realistically be friends, family and lovers in real life.  Stephen Lang's performance of the father is terrifying and heartbreaking as you realize that this is a man who desperately loves his family, but who is just trapped within alcoholism and repeating the patterns of his upbringing. Karen Allen turns in one of the best performances of her life. As the mother, Margaret she fully inhabits this woman with every breath and movement, struggling to keep her sons safe, yet remaining unflinchingly devoted to her husband.

Nick Thurston as Bryan Leary is flawless, a newcomer to Hollywood, he will have a long career if he continues to turn in simple, connected, yet vulnerable performances like this one. His scenes with Leslie Murphy, who is flawless as well as love interest Shauna, are some of the best of the movie. The two share a chemistry on screen that in my personal opinion rivals that of Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, which I regard as some of the best on screen chemistry that I've ever seen. You desperately want Shauna and Bryan to save one another, fall in love and escape this dreary dark life. Turning in a layered performance, Leslie, lets Bryan and the audience into her heart and she wins him and the entire theatre over by her second or third scene in the movie. Her character easily could have been a "pollyanna" of sorts, but John Gray shines again, having written a script that has multi-layered characters throughout the whole thing, not just within the main characters, but down to the smaller roles. My favorite example of this is the revelation that Shauna shares about herself with Bryan at the end of the movie, where you finally understand her.  Miss Murphy can look forward to a shining career in the acting world!


Geoff Wigdor as older brother Danny turns in an equally solid performance full of emotion, strength and vulnerability. He kept reminding me of a young Ben Affleck, even looking and sounding like him at times, though he turns in a full, well rounded performance that we didn't see out of Mr Affleck until he matured into his career a bit. Geoff brought life to Danny and you understood every decision he made even as your heart was screaming for him to make a different choice.

Zachary Booth, Robbie Collier Sublett and Michael Drayer round out the casting as Bryan's group of friends. They are all incredibly enjoyable and I especially enjoyed the rhythm they all found as friends and the rapid fire dialogues they shared that only true friends would be able to exchange.

The direction was wonderful and again, the script was well rounded, fun, raw, tough, emotional, and even contained a few fun "sign of the times" jokes like, "What kind of career are you going to have in computers?" Ha.

Producers Paul Bernard and James Scura, your investment in this movie is also evident in every part of it, and after meeting you Paul, I know that had you not been involved that this would be an entirely different movie. I can only imagine that your producing partner would be cut from the same cloth.

Please, do yourself and everyone involved with this project a favor and go see, "WHITE IRISH DRINKERS" when it comes to a theatre near you. Help this little movie that could, can and probably will reach the highest level of success that it can. I would even go so far as to say that this film and the actors involved could easily win some awards in this coming awards season! I desperately hope it hangs on for that long and that word of mouth makes this movie a blockbuster success!

Movies like this are the reason I became an actor. They are the reason that I want to make films. When the lights came up after the movie and we all wiped away our tears, I left the theatre thinking "This is the kind of movie I want to make."

This is a project of heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears . . . but you can tell it was worth every moment.

www.whiteirishdrinkersthemovie.com

Sunday, March 20, 2011

* An Inspirational Letter from Sendai, Japan *

* An Inspirational Letter from Sendai, Japan *

Over the last couple of weeks we have watched the events unfold in Japan as they were rocked by an 8.9 earthquake, followed by a massive tsunami that caused massive destruction and took many lives. Horrified, we all have watched helplessly as the images of massive amounts of water decimated entire towns in a matter of minutes. The news is fraught with fear and panic, replaying the horrific images over and over again. There is nothing we can do but helplessly watch as the powers of Mother Nature cause death and destruction so many miles away. That is why when I was forwarded this letter from a person actually living in Sendai, experiencing this, I was so incredibly moved and touched by how they were experiencing what we can perceive as only a horrific event. I knew that it needed to be shared with as many people that we can get it to. Their words are full of love, hope, encouragement and a higher connection to a knowingness that everything that is happening is part of a greater plan. I hope you take the time to read this letter and that it provides you with as much inspiration, love and gratitude that it did for me.

IN LOVE and LIGHT, 
Elizabeth


Hello My Lovely Family and Friends,

First I want to thank you so very much for your concern for me. I am 
very touched. I also wish to apologize for a generic message to you all. 
But it seems the best way at the moment to get my message to you.

Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed to
have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is even
more worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend's home. We share
supplies like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined up in 
one room, eat by candlelight, share stories. It is warm, friendly, and 
beautiful.

During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes. People 
sit in their cars, looking at news on their navigation screens, or line 
up to get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has water 
running in their home, they put out sign so people can come to fill up 
their jugs and buckets.

Utterly amazingly where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in
lines. People leave their front door open, as it is safer when an
earthquake strikes. People keep saying, "Oh, this is how it used to be 
in the old days when everyone helped one another."

Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes. Sirens
are constant and helicopters pass overhead often.

We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is for
half a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet come on.

But all of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do not.
No one has washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are so much
more important concerns than that for us now. I love this peeling away of
non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct, of intuition, of 
caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of me, but of the 
entire group.

There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some
places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun.

People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking
their dogs. All happening at the same time.

Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No
cars. No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are scattered
with stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole sky is filled.

The mountains of Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see them
silhouetted against the sky magnificently.

And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack to
check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity is on,
and I find food and water left in my entranceway. I have no idea from
whom, but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to door checking
to see if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if they
need help. I see no signs of fear. Resignation, yes, but fear or panic,
no.

They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes, for 
another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls, 
shaking, rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai that is
a bit elevated, a bit more solid than other parts. So, so far this area is
better off than others. Last night my friend's husband came in from the
country, bringing food and water. Blessed again.

Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is indeed
an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over the world
right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events happening now
in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My brother asked me if I
felt so small because of all that is happening. I don't. Rather, I feel as
part of something happening that much larger than myself. This wave of
birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet magnificent.

Thank you again for your care and Love of me,

With Love in return, to you all.