An Open Letter to China Grill Management as Asia de Cuba Los Angeles Closes its Doors.

The first time I stepped foot into Asia de Cuba in Los Angeles I was blown away, intimidated and excited. I first ventured into ADC in 2004 when I met a friend for dinner. The blonde wood floors, the light, airy design, all the beautiful people that were packed into the small area known as the bar waiting for a table, I immediately felt like I didn't belong, wasn't good enough, not pretty enough, you name it, INTIMIDATED. 9 years later I sit here with the opposite feeling. Asia de Cuba is one of my homes here in Los Angeles.

 In 2005 I found myself looking for a better serving gig, one that would give me the freedom to pursue my acting career, with flexibility of not only time, but my money as well. I remembered what an incredible experience I had had dining at ADC and wandered in off Sunset asking for an application. The universe aligned and a few months later I got a call. I shouldn't have been hired at ADC, not because I wasn't qualified for the job, but because at that time they ONLY hired people that were a direct reference from someone that already worked at the restaurant and I didn't have that. I've never been more excited to hear from a restaurant for a job. I missed the first call and saw the number on our Caller ID, frantic that they wouldn't call again. I anxiously awaited another phone call and when they finally called I was ecstatic. After 5 interviews (they were switching F&B directors so I had to return to meet the new one) I was hired. I spent every week after calling and asking when my training was going to start! Needless to say, the job I left, though full of amazing staff that worked there, was difficult due to demanding clientele and their imminent plan to steal my soul.

 On Day ONE of training at Asia de Cuba I knew I had been asked to be a part of something magical. Each and every one of the 4 trainers embraced this restaurant as if it were their own. I would quickly learn that this is because it is a commandment of China Grill that each and every employee take ownership of their restaurant. Our feedback was valued, listened to and treated as though we were owners in the company. Not every idea, issue or complaint was handled in the way we thought it should be, but we were heard, respected and valued in your company. I learned not to just wait tables and to serve people but rather to treat them as if they were a guest in my home commanding respect from them, but treating them as though they were very close friends and family members. We were taught not to serve customers, but people. We were challenged to speak up in the kitchen if a dish didn't turn out right, to listen to tables when they said something was wrong, to care enough to take it to the chef and make sure that the quality of food stayed the same. If we had an issue or a challenge we were allowed to speak up in Quality Circles, a bi-weekly forum where each of us got the floor, with no one allowed to respond, and were encouraged to not just complain, but to come up with a solution to the problem first.
The company motto: Have Fun and Make Money! I think this is genius! If your staff is having fun and making money, your guests are having fun and your company is making money! Simple. Logical. Real.

I've learned amazing lessons applicable to real life in the 6 Principles we all Live By,
 1. We Work as a Team
 2. We're Always Looking to Do More
 3. We Constantly Communicate with One Another
 4. We're Careful
 5. We Treat One Another With Respect
 6. We Leave Our Personal Problems at the Door.

 I feel that the lessons I've learned her are so incredible I've developed a workshop for improvisers and actors on how to be better servers!

 It is unbelievable that I have become so attached to a restaurant gig. The crazy thing is, I'm not the only one. I've worked here for 8 1/2 years and in some sense, I'm still a rookie. There are people who have been here since the beginning, all 14 years. It's a tough place to leave, not only with consistent money and happy guests, but its like ripping yourself away from family. The family of staff that has kept this thing going for the last 14 years are what have made it magical. They took the guidance, commandments and the 6 principles we live by and ran with them. Thank you for hiring all of the amazing people that I consider family.

Thank you for providing an incredible eating experience of Asian and Latin fusion, Calamari salad, Char Sui Beef Short Ribs and Cuban Opera. A guest once told me that the quality of food at ADC was better than it had to be (because of the incredible view and ambiance) but it never slipped. I can count on maybe my 2 hands and 1 foot the number of tables that didn't like the food. And in all honesty they were probably crazy.

 To all of the guests that I have had the pleasure of creating memories for, thank you. I'm as devastated as you are that there won't be an Asia de Cuba in the Mondrian hotel anymore. I have overseen numerous proposals, anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations and bachelorette parties (don't worry ladies, your secrets are safe with us). I'm devastated to think of the guests who return every year on their anniversary because, this is where he proposed, who will come next year and find that ADC and their memories will forever only be a memory.

 To everyone who has come in to eat lately and gasped in horror at the news of the closing, saying, "No, I love this place, its one of my favorites." I say to you, Where have you been the last 5 years? Our guest counts have continued to decline and business has definitely slowed down, so its not completely illogical that there would be a change in restaurants here at the Mondrian hotel. Just remember that if you love a restaurant, a store, a movie theatre, patronize it and spend money there or eventually it will go away. This is the reason I buy actual books at physical book stores because I love them so much and I don't want them all to disappear.

 Yes, we move forward and yes I will be a part of Brian Malarkey's exciting new Herringbone in the Mondrian Hotel! I know that everything I learned at Asia de Cuba will make me, make all of us that are continuing on at Herringbone, amazing servers, hosts, bartenders, assistants, runners, and chefs that will enhance and embrace our new home.

 Thank you to each and every one of my fellow ADC Los Angeles Family Members YOU are what made this job magical, fun, exciting and yes, sometimes frustrating, but we always stuck together and managed to hug it out (with much chagrin to Francine the Sexual Harassment Trainer).

China Grill, Jeffrey, Claude, Neil, Jack, John and Luke know that you have Magic in your hands and the world will be devastated if you don't bring Asia de Cuba back to the masses, OR provide us all with flights to London or Russia to enjoy the remaining Asia de Cuba's! For weeks now we have been experiencing incredible memories and endless compliments of guests who love our food and simply can't imagine a world without Avocado Fried Rice. I am one of them.

Thank you.
Elizabeth

#fitchthehomeless Brilliant? Arrogant? Relevant? Satire? Exploitative?

This morning as I perused Twitter I noticed a hashtag, #Fitchthehomeless ! Brilliant! I thought.

When I first heard that CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch Mike Jeffries has an issue with fat chicks wearing his clothing I was appalled. I remember browsing the racks at A&F when I was in high school, knowing that my size 14 body would never be able to fit into any of their clothes. Pangs of wanting to belong, shame for being bigger than the waif like models all over the store and a desire to be included in the crowd all flicked through my mind. It never occurred to me in that moment that this was intentional because the guy in charge didn't want me to represent his brand.

The largest women's pants available at A&F are a size 10. I'm willing to bet that this isn't the first time in fashion history that a brand or line has been exclusive. Most high end designers design for models that are under a size 2. Sample sizes are often in a size 6 or lower. I've never heard someone admit that he doesn't want fat people wearing his clothes. The douche-baggery has obviously been handed down to everyone who works there.  Also, when clothes are irregular or made wrong, instead of donating them to homeless shelters, they actually burn them.  An A&F manager said, “Abercrombie and Fitch doesn’t want to create the image that just anybody, poor people, can wear their clothing. Only people of a certain stature are able to purchase and wear the company name.” 

Crazy town. This can't be a good business plan. Back to Twitter. This morning I tweeted #fitchthehomeless is the perfect answer to an awful CEO who only wants rich, good looking people to wear his clothes. Wish I had some.

I am someone who considers Twitter somewhat of a game. I'm always surprised what gets re-tweeted and what doesn't, except for my SuperBowl Tweet,  "#superbowl47 the only day of the year that people are excited to see the commercials and plan bathroom breaks during regular programming"which was re-tweeted 107 times, because it was brilliant.

My #fitchthehomeless tweet has been re-tweeted 38 times and favorited 15 times. It's also elicited some backlash from people who are standing up for the homeless. I'm a bit confused about this.

What is #fitchthehomeless? To be honest when I wrote my tweet, I didn't actually know what it was. I just used deductive reasoning to figure out that people were giving A&F clothes to homeless people because that is the EXACT opposite of what CEO Mike Jeffries has in mind for his brand. Brilliant. How funny. Nothing like bringing light to asinine behavior and helping out people in need at the same time. When I decided to write this blog I googled #fitchthehomeless and discovered that Greg Karber had posted a video to YouTube in which he went to his local Goodwill, the one in Los Feliz, I've been there too Greg, good choice, and purchased all of the A&F clothes he could find. He then drove them to Skid Row and handed them out to people in need. Awesome. I love this even more.

After Tweeting I got this . . .

♡♡Ingrid Henny♡♡ ‏@MagpieLibrarian5h

@AnInspiredIdea Why not donate just any clothes? Instead of using homeless people as part of your agenda, why not just do a nice thing?

----I actually do donate clothes on a regular basis and often do nice things. . . this isn't my agenda, just an observation.

and this . . . 

Lauren Nelson ‏@SnarkySmarty

4h

@AnInspiredIdea Not so much - it's actually pretty offensive when you step back and think about it: http://bit.ly/16gTlqU 

and this . . .

Isabel Rae ‏@isabelrae1

@AnInspiredIdea it's also the perfect way to make homeless people the butt of privileged people's jokes.

I'm curious what you think? Is this exploitative? No one is making money off of the homeless people. In fact, its quite the opposite, they are going to get some pretty nice, if not douchey looking, well made clothes.

Today we find ourselves in a world full of bullies, surrounded by trashy tabloids that sell because they rip apart a celebrity for having cellulite and our government has passed laws making declaring that corporations are people too. We've become so apathetic in our lives that all of these things have become tolerated. Hate begets hate and at least Greg is doing something to bring light to this behavior.

Whether the naysayers above believe it or not Greg is making a difference. He's keeping this story alive, making it relevant by putting it on YouTube and making it fun for people to donate to the homeless while tagging their good deed online with hashtag #Fitchthehomeless.

What do you think? Is Greg in the wrong and just as bad as Mike?

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE> . . .

The Vulnerability of Crowd Funding.

Recently I came across a TED talk by Brene Brown on Facebook that one of my friends had posted. I often turn on TED talks while I am doing something else, but Brene's resonated so deeply with me that I quickly found myself just listening to her talk, The Power of Vulnerability.  I've never heard of anyone like Brene Brown. She actually studies human connection for a living. She investigates vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame and how they affect human connection. Human connection is something that I think about often and its a driving force behind why I want to make films, act and tell stories. Connection, human connection, is important and the future of humanity is going to rely on it.

I quickly found Brene's second TED Talk, Listening to Shame, which led me to buying her book, "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead." I'm only 3 chapters into her book and I've already been blown away multiple times. As I sat and composed another email asking for people to support my Crowd Funding campaign I had an AHA moment. Putting myself out there and asking people to support art that I have yet to create may be the most vulnerable thing I've ever done.

Vulnerability has got to be one of the most terrifying human emotions. Vulnerability is often perceived as weakness. Brene defines vulnerability as " uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." In Brene's book, she says, "To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation -- that's also vulnerability." I'm an actor, I write and now I produce projects. I'm used to putting vulnerability out in the world. If you've read my blog at all, you know that I often share things that most people wouldn't tell their best friends. I know that in order to connect you have to be vulnerable. That doesn't make it any easier. I've struggled with it in acting class and had Dee Wallace screaming at me, "If you want to act, you have to bare your soul. The reason people love actors is because they allow real vulnerability to be seen in every moment." (She doesn't scream very loudly and she's actually quite nice.)

To ask for help is one of the greatest ways to make yourself vulnerable. With my crowd funding campaign for my short film, "Tactics", I've hit the vulnerability jackpot. Not only am I asking for help, I'm asking you to support my art before its become a full fledged vision. Its one thing to make it, put it out in the world, and let people judge it. Its quite another to ask for help before there's anything to show for it. I have the script written, I have a very talented director, J.T. Mollner on board to helm the film and I know that its going to be great.

That doesn't make it any easier to reach out consistently, daily, numerous times a day to ask for help, to ask people to support your dreams.

The outpouring of support that I have received has been amazing. I have received donations from people that I would have never guessed would donate to my film. I've gotten amazing letters, notes of support and FB posts from old friends reaching out, telling me they are proud of me, and admire that I'm actually living my dreams, pursuing my passion and honoring my creativity. Its inspiring, comforting and just plain nice to hear.

Within the support there have also been numerous questions asked by friends, acquaintances, strangers. "Why do you need so much money?" "You can make a short film for less than that." "Why would you pay yourself to make a film that you're asking people to donate money to?" (If I do this as a SAG project, I would technically pay myself as the actress in the film). With every question I have been forced to look at myself and re-evaluate whether I have the right to ask for this amount of money, any money, the ability to make movies at all. I know that some of these questions come from my own hesitations and doubt, from being raised in a family that taught me not to ask for money from friends ever, from the vulnerability of putting myself out to the world and asking for help. I don't like asking for help. I don't like being in a state of weakness, which is how I would have perceived vulnerability before I came across Brene Brown. I know now that asking for help, standing in my power and knowing that my art, my creativity is worth the effort is actually strength and power.

I made a short film last year that won awards on the festival circuit and actually have that experience under my belt. J.T. has multiple films under his belt that have won mulitple awards and received distribution. I know that I have knowledge and the ability to see this film through to fruition!

I know that the amount of people that seem to be crowd funding these days can sometimes be overwhelming but the next time you come across some one's crowd funding campaign remember how much vulnerability and risk went into them being able to ask you for help. We live in an incredible world where you can actually contribute to films, albums and art projects that you want to see, that resonate with you or that open your hearts. We are in the midst of watching the world of creativity change! "Veronica Mars", a TV show that has a cult following recently blew everyone away when they set a goal of raising $2 million in order to make the movie version of the TV show and in less than 5 hours they had raised $1 million dollars and in 11 hours hit their goal of $2 million dollars! They currently have over $4.5 million dollars raised and a few days left to go! Incredible!

Today there are 12 days left in my campaign on PasserBy. I'm almost half way to my goal. I want to hit my goal. I know I'm worth trusting and knowing that I can hit my goal.

From the bottom of my heart, in gratitude and love, thank you for allowing me to show you my vulnerability and for trusting that I know what to do with it.

If you want to help "Tactics" and me hit my goal, please donate here! Passer.by/films/tactics

Here's to DARING GREATLY!!

My IMDB page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2235318/
J.T. Mollner's IMDB Page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2356768/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
"Just Like the Movies" on YouTube  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9iATP1xMuM

Shattering Self- Sabotage

Self Sabotage is a bitch. We would never put up with someone else knocking us down right before we crossed a finish line, yet we do it to ourselves all the time. We get so close to a goal we can taste it and then we launch into destructive behavior that enables us to remain in our "safe, comfortable world" that we have been living just fine in. We're not necessarily super happy or thrilled with the safe, comfy place, but we're okay, we're fine, we doing alright.

Let's look at a journey I'm on right now. About 5 weeks ago I launched a HUGE goal for myself. My acting coach, Michael McCarthy, helped me to understand what a LEVERAGE goal is and its forever changed how I will look at goals. A LEVERAGE goal is one that if you succeed at accomplishing it, you will also knock down other existing goals you have. For instance, if I get down to the size 6 that I have always wanted to be, I will feel great, but I will also be in a clear category as an actress. I have always felt that I confuse casting directors, producers, directors, the people who give me the jobs, because I am too pretty to be the quirky best friend and too big to be the leading lady. I don't think this has to be the truth of me, but it sure seems to be, and I'm at this point in my life where I am READY to book commercials, acting gigs on TV and great roles in incredible little indie films, so why not do everything in MY power to make it easier? Plus, I obviously believe this as a truth, and as someone who creates her own world with her thoughts, it surely has manifested in my life. Achieving my health and fitness goal will then help me achieve career goals, financial goal and fun, travel goals, therefore making it a LEVERAGE goal.

Being able to see this goal as a LEVERAGE goal has helped me stick to the regime I set up for myself. My goal is to lose 40 lbs in 4 months. This is a completely attainable goal as I only have to lose 2.5 lbs per week. I've been making a menu every week, shopping with a grocery list, and working out 4-5 times a week. The first week I lost 5 lbs. The second week I lost 5 lbs. The 3rd week I lost 2 and the 4th week I lost 1 lb. I lost 13 lbs in ONE MONTH. I'm ahead of the game.

Week 5 I got a little fatigued from making the menus, the shopping lists, etc (which help in a HUGE way) and I had a lot of leftover food in my fridge, residual behavior from when I used to do monthly shopping for our family of 6 with my Mom, I always buy too much for 1 person. I took a break, I stuck to the diet, but I didn't have a menu or a shopping list, just ate what I had left and didn't worry about it. Then I went out with some friends and had some drinks, some great food and some wine. Too much. BUT we had a lot of fun and I realize that if I'm successful at life I'm going to have to be able to be a human and go out, treat myself and get right back on plan.

I'm starting to suspect that Self Sabotage is at play here. We're in Week 6 and yesterday I stuck to my plan until I had a little cheese at lunch and then some potatoes at dinner and THEN ice cream. NONE of those things are on the plan.

Googling Self Sabotage I found this definition:
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common selsabotaging behaviors are procrasination, self medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly." --- Psychologytoday.com

Behavior that cuts us off at the knees and stops us from completing our goals. There is also a scientific reason that we self sabotage. our bodies do it for us as an act of protection from the fear of the unknown that we are facing. In the 60's Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book called Psycho Cybernetics exploring why his plastic surgery patients who he had repaired cleft palates or deformities had such extreme reactions to the after result. There were some patients who after he fixed them saw only the ugly deformity that had been there before, while another would have the complete opposite reaction and be thrilled. He quickly discovered that the patients were reacting to their "labels" and the "identities" that they knew of themselves. Your nervous system behaves according to your labels and sets your internal thermostat expecting them to stay at the same level. When we set goals, and begin to push ourselves outside of the comfort zone, your nervous system will activate in order to keep you in the safe and comfortable zone.  This explains why when you begin pursuing a goal, seemingly external and internal forces will align to distract you from accomplishing your goal, keeping you right in that safe, cozy, comfortable place you’ve come to know and love.

I see this type of behavior in my actor friends all of the time. One of them recently went to SXSW film festival because he was the lead in a movie that premiered there. I asked him about his experience and he said that it was overwhelming and exciting and he had very little time to do anything but be interviewed and talk about the movie. He was treated like a true movie star who is the lead in a movie, something he has wanted for a long time. He told me he was relieved to be back at his job, waiting tables, that he was happy there and it felt nice to be back. Luckily, he knew he was in the process of Self Sabotaging himself and recognized that though he was comfortable waiting tables that he wouldn't allow himself to push away all the success from this movie!

Fear can make us freeze, fear can cause us to play it safe, fear is a bitch, therefore it must be part of self sabotage.

I do not want to be a waitress forever, I'm tired of having to live paycheck to paycheck and I am SO over getting THIS close to booking a job and having them give it to the other girl. Enough universe, its time to allow me success, abundance, freedom, bliss, humor, love, money and everything this little size 6 heart desires. I will be comfortable being the pretty girl, I will be okay with turning heads and attention that I am not used to.

The number one thing I've learned to love on this journey already is exercise. I've done made myself addicted to exercising. When I don't go workout for a few days in a row now I feel antsy and bad. I have been active for a lot of my life, but I don't think I ever expected to be addicted to exercising. Its now not something I have to decide if I want to do it or not, its not a choice, its just something that I do as a part of my regular day.

I'm recommitting to my goal. 40 lbs in 4 months. I know I can do this. I will succeed at it and my cybernetic system can relax, because its gonna go through a change as well!

I LOVE Love. Sorry, I'm NOT sorry!

I LOVE Love! Unabashedly, un-apologetically and absolutely. The thing is, here's the thing, I think I forgot it for a minute. When you follow love and you think you've found love, you celebrate, I get lost in it sometimes, and you tell everyone, "He's the one!" AND THEN, that thing happens where you discover, ohh, he wasn't the one.

Where do you go from finding the one to finding they are NOT the one. Logically your heart, soul and mind need a little recovery time. Today is Valentine's Day and until I woke up this morning I wasn't excited about it.

I have had some amazing love connections, some amazing love stories that you think only happen in the movies. I met a guy on an airplane! We sat next to one another on a flight home to Colorado for Christmas. Our relationship started with witty banter and when we landed I think we both knew that something special had happened.

I've waited on a guy that I had an incredible connection with and spent the entire time I was working and he was dining with other people flirting, exchanging glances and then numbers.

I met a guy in a hotel lobby bar, had amazing conversation, spent the night talking and connecting, but never hooking up because he had a girlfriend back home and he actually said the words to me, "Another time, another place and this story would end differently." (or something like that, you get the gist) After our encounter I wrote him a letter, told him thank you and what that night meant to me. 

Once, I walked up to a talented photographer, told him I loved his art, and the SECOND our eyes met I KNEW that we had met before. We looked at one another and just knew each other. THAT time I walked away from that conversation thinking, "I am going to Marry that guy".  He is currently engaged to someone else. That stings. How can that be? It is.

But, here's the thing, I HAD those experiences and they were magical, exciting, exhilarating and thrilling and conversely, they were devastating and heartbreaking and sad because they ended. Particularly not understanding how I could have absolute knowing that I was going to marry my photographer and not have it work out was mind blowing. I know with all my heart and soul that I will find the love that I am looking for and that I know is out there. I trust it, I believe it and I know it! These experiences allow me to know that. I trust the Universe, I trust fate and I trust destiny.

I am excited for the day that my romantic moment turns into a romantic story into a romantic wedding and continues into a romantic life full of love! I forgot it for awhile, but not for any longer. Love is awesome. Love is amazing and love can and will change the world!

Start today, start with loving yourself. Go within and have a love affair with yourself because then TRUE love will find you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

THIS is the kind of love I'm looking for. . . "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds." - The Notebook ---

 and I'm starting by loving myself that way!

Much Love, Elizabeth