Shattering a Legacy or a Life Left Behind

Flipping through Oprah's latest Reading List for the month of November, or shall I say clicking, since I was doing it on my computer, I came across the description of "The Journals of Spalding Gray"

Edited by Nell Casey

"The brilliant, tormented performer mesmerized audiences with his autobiographical monologues, but most revealing are these diaries leading up to his suicide in 2004."

 I continued clicking through the list and in the flash of a few thoughts thought about reading that book and what it must be like. I wondered how dark it is and whether or not it was something I would be interested in reading. My next thought was will I ever have people read my published journals after I'm gone? I highly doubt that I will ever publish a journal that leads up to my suicide, but I suppose you never know where life can lead you or the trauma that can change your very soul and being. What makes your journal or your stories worthy to published, let alone read by other people? Is it the fascination of how a creative mind like Spalding's works? The mystery of what could cause a person to commit suicide? The brief moment to connect on a soul level and relate to one another's humanity?

I write blogs, I write screenplays, I would like to write a novel one day. I love when people read my writings and are moved by them or feel compelled to share them with other people. Is that a legacy being left behind already? Can you leave a legacy in small doses everyday of your life? Or is a legacy only left when you have something profound and worthwhile to say? Do you think Spalding Gray would want to be remembered for his diaries leading up to the darkest day of his life? Is a legacy something that you have no control over and is simply up to those whom you leave behind to define for you?

All of this in a few clicks of the computer and a fleeting moment of thought. The human brain is amazing. I wonder when we're going to be able to access that other 97% of it that we don't use.