Day 5, 6 annnnnnnnnnddddd 7.
So, it's been 3 days. 3 days since I was going to write everyday. . . and Its been three days since my last blog. Sure, I've been busy, picking up extra shifts, catching up on money and working on being better with my money.
I am in resistance.
I am in resistance to this process and there's a part of me that's in resistance to moving forward in my life. Why?
This is not a new thing for me, I've felt myself do this before. I can recognize this. It's manifested in me losing 40 lbs and becoming a size 8, close to hitting my goal of a size 6, and then I get off track and find myself lingering around a 12 again. I was going to say that was probably because I broke my ankle and couldn't work out, but that just feels like an excuse now. And not a good one.
So, here I am in resistance to looking at my accounts every day and jotting down how this journey is going. The string of hits continue to come and I can't imagine how much more can happen. I can't seem to stop the snowball of bad luck. Just this morning I had to replace a tire on my 1 year old car because there was a massive bolt in it just off the side of the treads, a place they can't repair the tire. . . This is the second tire I've had to replace in the last two months. . . adding itself to the list of expenses that I can't really seem to get on top of lately.
I've been focusing on my lack of abundance and money a LOT lately and as someone who believes that my thoughts create my life, I better get a hold of the runaway negativity before it gets worse. How do you change your perspective when you're feeling stressed about money? Do you have any tips, hints or ideas? Forcing yourself to focus on the good in your life?
Maybe for the remainder of this experiment I will try the "Gratitude and Grateful List" at night? You know, the one where before you go to bed you make a list of ten things you're grateful for and three things that went right in your day?
That sounds like a plan. Starting now.
10 Things I'm grateful for.
1. My supportive family.
2. My rad, sexy 2011 Black Honda Civic.
3. The cute, quaint, adorable 2 bedroom house I rent in Los Feliz, a kick ass, creative, walkable neighborhood.
4. My ability to walk.
5. A job that provides me with health insurance.
6. A new job with Wine and Canvas that is bringing joy to people's lives and meeting new friends.
7. A loving boyfriend.
8. Great friends who can provide tough love and unending support.
9. The success of my short film.
10. My creative ability to write.
3 Things that have gone well today so far:
1. I got my hair done in order to look good for the Indie Spirit Film Festival.
2. I took my little dog Audrey for a 40 minute walk.
3. I wrote this blog.
That actually does make me feel better. Finished up with an affirmation from Jack Plotnick:
I release and destroy my need to feel unworthy. I know that I am worthy of all the good in life and now lovingly allow myself to accept it. As I repeat this affirmation my outer effect of procrastination fades away and I no longer feel the need to delay my own good.
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