Recently I came across a TED talk by Brene Brown on Facebook that one of my friends had posted. I often turn on TED talks while I am doing something else, but Brene's resonated so deeply with me that I quickly found myself just listening to her talk, The Power of Vulnerability. I've never heard of anyone like Brene Brown. She actually studies human connection for a living. She investigates vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame and how they affect human connection. Human connection is something that I think about often and its a driving force behind why I want to make films, act and tell stories. Connection, human connection, is important and the future of humanity is going to rely on it.
I quickly found Brene's second TED Talk, Listening to Shame, which led me to buying her book, "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead." I'm only 3 chapters into her book and I've already been blown away multiple times. As I sat and composed another email asking for people to support my Crowd Funding campaign I had an AHA moment. Putting myself out there and asking people to support art that I have yet to create may be the most vulnerable thing I've ever done.
Vulnerability has got to be one of the most terrifying human emotions. Vulnerability is often perceived as weakness. Brene defines vulnerability as " uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure." In Brene's book, she says, "To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation -- that's also vulnerability." I'm an actor, I write and now I produce projects. I'm used to putting vulnerability out in the world. If you've read my blog at all, you know that I often share things that most people wouldn't tell their best friends. I know that in order to connect you have to be vulnerable. That doesn't make it any easier. I've struggled with it in acting class and had Dee Wallace screaming at me, "If you want to act, you have to bare your soul. The reason people love actors is because they allow real vulnerability to be seen in every moment." (She doesn't scream very loudly and she's actually quite nice.)
To ask for help is one of the greatest ways to make yourself vulnerable. With my crowd funding campaign for my short film, "Tactics", I've hit the vulnerability jackpot. Not only am I asking for help, I'm asking you to support my art before its become a full fledged vision. Its one thing to make it, put it out in the world, and let people judge it. Its quite another to ask for help before there's anything to show for it. I have the script written, I have a very talented director, J.T. Mollner on board to helm the film and I know that its going to be great.
That doesn't make it any easier to reach out consistently, daily, numerous times a day to ask for help, to ask people to support your dreams.
The outpouring of support that I have received has been amazing. I have received donations from people that I would have never guessed would donate to my film. I've gotten amazing letters, notes of support and FB posts from old friends reaching out, telling me they are proud of me, and admire that I'm actually living my dreams, pursuing my passion and honoring my creativity. Its inspiring, comforting and just plain nice to hear.
Within the support there have also been numerous questions asked by friends, acquaintances, strangers. "Why do you need so much money?" "You can make a short film for less than that." "Why would you pay yourself to make a film that you're asking people to donate money to?" (If I do this as a SAG project, I would technically pay myself as the actress in the film). With every question I have been forced to look at myself and re-evaluate whether I have the right to ask for this amount of money, any money, the ability to make movies at all. I know that some of these questions come from my own hesitations and doubt, from being raised in a family that taught me not to ask for money from friends ever, from the vulnerability of putting myself out to the world and asking for help. I don't like asking for help. I don't like being in a state of weakness, which is how I would have perceived vulnerability before I came across Brene Brown. I know now that asking for help, standing in my power and knowing that my art, my creativity is worth the effort is actually strength and power.
I made a short film last year that won awards on the festival circuit and actually have that experience under my belt. J.T. has multiple films under his belt that have won mulitple awards and received distribution. I know that I have knowledge and the ability to see this film through to fruition!
I know that the amount of people that seem to be crowd funding these days can sometimes be overwhelming but the next time you come across some one's crowd funding campaign remember how much vulnerability and risk went into them being able to ask you for help. We live in an incredible world where you can actually contribute to films, albums and art projects that you want to see, that resonate with you or that open your hearts. We are in the midst of watching the world of creativity change! "Veronica Mars", a TV show that has a cult following recently blew everyone away when they set a goal of raising $2 million in order to make the movie version of the TV show and in less than 5 hours they had raised $1 million dollars and in 11 hours hit their goal of $2 million dollars! They currently have over $4.5 million dollars raised and a few days left to go! Incredible!
Today there are 12 days left in my campaign on PasserBy. I'm almost half way to my goal. I want to hit my goal. I know I'm worth trusting and knowing that I can hit my goal.
From the bottom of my heart, in gratitude and love, thank you for allowing me to show you my vulnerability and for trusting that I know what to do with it.
If you want to help "Tactics" and me hit my goal, please donate here! Passer.by/films/tactics
Here's to DARING GREATLY!!
My IMDB page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2235318/
J.T. Mollner's IMDB Page http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2356768/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
"Just Like the Movies" on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9iATP1xMuM
Monday, April 8, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Shattering Self- Sabotage
Self Sabotage is a bitch. We would never put up with someone else knocking us down right before we crossed a finish line, yet we do it to ourselves all the time. We get so close to a goal we can taste it and then we launch into destructive behavior that enables us to remain in our "safe, comfortable world" that we have been living just fine in. We're not necessarily super happy or thrilled with the safe, comfy place, but we're okay, we're fine, we doing alright.
Let's look at a journey I'm on right now. About 5 weeks ago I launched a HUGE goal for myself. My acting coach, Michael McCarthy, helped me to understand what a LEVERAGE goal is and its forever changed how I will look at goals. A LEVERAGE goal is one that if you succeed at accomplishing it, you will also knock down other existing goals you have. For instance, if I get down to the size 6 that I have always wanted to be, I will feel great, but I will also be in a clear category as an actress. I have always felt that I confuse casting directors, producers, directors, the people who give me the jobs, because I am too pretty to be the quirky best friend and too big to be the leading lady. I don't think this has to be the truth of me, but it sure seems to be, and I'm at this point in my life where I am READY to book commercials, acting gigs on TV and great roles in incredible little indie films, so why not do everything in MY power to make it easier? Plus, I obviously believe this as a truth, and as someone who creates her own world with her thoughts, it surely has manifested in my life. Achieving my health and fitness goal will then help me achieve career goals, financial goal and fun, travel goals, therefore making it a LEVERAGE goal.
Being able to see this goal as a LEVERAGE goal has helped me stick to the regime I set up for myself. My goal is to lose 40 lbs in 4 months. This is a completely attainable goal as I only have to lose 2.5 lbs per week. I've been making a menu every week, shopping with a grocery list, and working out 4-5 times a week. The first week I lost 5 lbs. The second week I lost 5 lbs. The 3rd week I lost 2 and the 4th week I lost 1 lb. I lost 13 lbs in ONE MONTH. I'm ahead of the game.
Week 5 I got a little fatigued from making the menus, the shopping lists, etc (which help in a HUGE way) and I had a lot of leftover food in my fridge, residual behavior from when I used to do monthly shopping for our family of 6 with my Mom, I always buy too much for 1 person. I took a break, I stuck to the diet, but I didn't have a menu or a shopping list, just ate what I had left and didn't worry about it. Then I went out with some friends and had some drinks, some great food and some wine. Too much. BUT we had a lot of fun and I realize that if I'm successful at life I'm going to have to be able to be a human and go out, treat myself and get right back on plan.
I'm starting to suspect that Self Sabotage is at play here. We're in Week 6 and yesterday I stuck to my plan until I had a little cheese at lunch and then some potatoes at dinner and THEN ice cream. NONE of those things are on the plan.
Googling Self Sabotage I found this definition:
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common selsabotaging behaviors are procrasination, self medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly." --- Psychologytoday.com
Behavior that cuts us off at the knees and stops us from completing our goals. There is also a scientific reason that we self sabotage. our bodies do it for us as an act of protection from the fear of the unknown that we are facing. In the 60's Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book called Psycho Cybernetics exploring why his plastic surgery patients who he had repaired cleft palates or deformities had such extreme reactions to the after result. There were some patients who after he fixed them saw only the ugly deformity that had been there before, while another would have the complete opposite reaction and be thrilled. He quickly discovered that the patients were reacting to their "labels" and the "identities" that they knew of themselves. Your nervous system behaves according to your labels and sets your internal thermostat expecting them to stay at the same level. When we set goals, and begin to push ourselves outside of the comfort zone, your nervous system will activate in order to keep you in the safe and comfortable zone. This explains why when you begin pursuing a goal, seemingly external and internal forces will align to distract you from accomplishing your goal, keeping you right in that safe, cozy, comfortable place you’ve come to know and love.
I see this type of behavior in my actor friends all of the time. One of them recently went to SXSW film festival because he was the lead in a movie that premiered there. I asked him about his experience and he said that it was overwhelming and exciting and he had very little time to do anything but be interviewed and talk about the movie. He was treated like a true movie star who is the lead in a movie, something he has wanted for a long time. He told me he was relieved to be back at his job, waiting tables, that he was happy there and it felt nice to be back. Luckily, he knew he was in the process of Self Sabotaging himself and recognized that though he was comfortable waiting tables that he wouldn't allow himself to push away all the success from this movie!
Fear can make us freeze, fear can cause us to play it safe, fear is a bitch, therefore it must be part of self sabotage.
I do not want to be a waitress forever, I'm tired of having to live paycheck to paycheck and I am SO over getting THIS close to booking a job and having them give it to the other girl. Enough universe, its time to allow me success, abundance, freedom, bliss, humor, love, money and everything this little size 6 heart desires. I will be comfortable being the pretty girl, I will be okay with turning heads and attention that I am not used to.
The number one thing I've learned to love on this journey already is exercise. I've done made myself addicted to exercising. When I don't go workout for a few days in a row now I feel antsy and bad. I have been active for a lot of my life, but I don't think I ever expected to be addicted to exercising. Its now not something I have to decide if I want to do it or not, its not a choice, its just something that I do as a part of my regular day.
I'm recommitting to my goal. 40 lbs in 4 months. I know I can do this. I will succeed at it and my cybernetic system can relax, because its gonna go through a change as well!
Let's look at a journey I'm on right now. About 5 weeks ago I launched a HUGE goal for myself. My acting coach, Michael McCarthy, helped me to understand what a LEVERAGE goal is and its forever changed how I will look at goals. A LEVERAGE goal is one that if you succeed at accomplishing it, you will also knock down other existing goals you have. For instance, if I get down to the size 6 that I have always wanted to be, I will feel great, but I will also be in a clear category as an actress. I have always felt that I confuse casting directors, producers, directors, the people who give me the jobs, because I am too pretty to be the quirky best friend and too big to be the leading lady. I don't think this has to be the truth of me, but it sure seems to be, and I'm at this point in my life where I am READY to book commercials, acting gigs on TV and great roles in incredible little indie films, so why not do everything in MY power to make it easier? Plus, I obviously believe this as a truth, and as someone who creates her own world with her thoughts, it surely has manifested in my life. Achieving my health and fitness goal will then help me achieve career goals, financial goal and fun, travel goals, therefore making it a LEVERAGE goal.
Being able to see this goal as a LEVERAGE goal has helped me stick to the regime I set up for myself. My goal is to lose 40 lbs in 4 months. This is a completely attainable goal as I only have to lose 2.5 lbs per week. I've been making a menu every week, shopping with a grocery list, and working out 4-5 times a week. The first week I lost 5 lbs. The second week I lost 5 lbs. The 3rd week I lost 2 and the 4th week I lost 1 lb. I lost 13 lbs in ONE MONTH. I'm ahead of the game.
Week 5 I got a little fatigued from making the menus, the shopping lists, etc (which help in a HUGE way) and I had a lot of leftover food in my fridge, residual behavior from when I used to do monthly shopping for our family of 6 with my Mom, I always buy too much for 1 person. I took a break, I stuck to the diet, but I didn't have a menu or a shopping list, just ate what I had left and didn't worry about it. Then I went out with some friends and had some drinks, some great food and some wine. Too much. BUT we had a lot of fun and I realize that if I'm successful at life I'm going to have to be able to be a human and go out, treat myself and get right back on plan.
I'm starting to suspect that Self Sabotage is at play here. We're in Week 6 and yesterday I stuck to my plan until I had a little cheese at lunch and then some potatoes at dinner and THEN ice cream. NONE of those things are on the plan.
Googling Self Sabotage I found this definition:
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common selsabotaging behaviors are procrasination, self medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly." --- Psychologytoday.com
Behavior that cuts us off at the knees and stops us from completing our goals. There is also a scientific reason that we self sabotage. our bodies do it for us as an act of protection from the fear of the unknown that we are facing. In the 60's Dr. Maxwell Maltz wrote a book called Psycho Cybernetics exploring why his plastic surgery patients who he had repaired cleft palates or deformities had such extreme reactions to the after result. There were some patients who after he fixed them saw only the ugly deformity that had been there before, while another would have the complete opposite reaction and be thrilled. He quickly discovered that the patients were reacting to their "labels" and the "identities" that they knew of themselves. Your nervous system behaves according to your labels and sets your internal thermostat expecting them to stay at the same level. When we set goals, and begin to push ourselves outside of the comfort zone, your nervous system will activate in order to keep you in the safe and comfortable zone. This explains why when you begin pursuing a goal, seemingly external and internal forces will align to distract you from accomplishing your goal, keeping you right in that safe, cozy, comfortable place you’ve come to know and love.
I see this type of behavior in my actor friends all of the time. One of them recently went to SXSW film festival because he was the lead in a movie that premiered there. I asked him about his experience and he said that it was overwhelming and exciting and he had very little time to do anything but be interviewed and talk about the movie. He was treated like a true movie star who is the lead in a movie, something he has wanted for a long time. He told me he was relieved to be back at his job, waiting tables, that he was happy there and it felt nice to be back. Luckily, he knew he was in the process of Self Sabotaging himself and recognized that though he was comfortable waiting tables that he wouldn't allow himself to push away all the success from this movie!
Fear can make us freeze, fear can cause us to play it safe, fear is a bitch, therefore it must be part of self sabotage.
I do not want to be a waitress forever, I'm tired of having to live paycheck to paycheck and I am SO over getting THIS close to booking a job and having them give it to the other girl. Enough universe, its time to allow me success, abundance, freedom, bliss, humor, love, money and everything this little size 6 heart desires. I will be comfortable being the pretty girl, I will be okay with turning heads and attention that I am not used to.
The number one thing I've learned to love on this journey already is exercise. I've done made myself addicted to exercising. When I don't go workout for a few days in a row now I feel antsy and bad. I have been active for a lot of my life, but I don't think I ever expected to be addicted to exercising. Its now not something I have to decide if I want to do it or not, its not a choice, its just something that I do as a part of my regular day.
I'm recommitting to my goal. 40 lbs in 4 months. I know I can do this. I will succeed at it and my cybernetic system can relax, because its gonna go through a change as well!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
I LOVE Love. Sorry, I'm NOT sorry!
I LOVE Love! Unabashedly, un-apologetically and absolutely. The thing is, here's the thing, I think I forgot it for a minute. When you follow love and you think you've found love, you celebrate, I get lost in it sometimes, and you tell everyone, "He's the one!" AND THEN, that thing happens where you discover, ohh, he wasn't the one.
Where do you go from finding the one to finding they are NOT the one. Logically your heart, soul and mind need a little recovery time. Today is Valentine's Day and until I woke up this morning I wasn't excited about it.
I have had some amazing love connections, some amazing love stories that you think only happen in the movies. I met a guy on an airplane! We sat next to one another on a flight home to Colorado for Christmas. Our relationship started with witty banter and when we landed I think we both knew that something special had happened.
I've waited on a guy that I had an incredible connection with and spent the entire time I was working and he was dining with other people flirting, exchanging glances and then numbers.
I met a guy in a hotel lobby bar, had amazing conversation, spent the night talking and connecting, but never hooking up because he had a girlfriend back home and he actually said the words to me, "Another time, another place and this story would end differently." (or something like that, you get the gist) After our encounter I wrote him a letter, told him thank you and what that night meant to me.
Once, I walked up to a talented photographer, told him I loved his art, and the SECOND our eyes met I KNEW that we had met before. We looked at one another and just knew each other. THAT time I walked away from that conversation thinking, "I am going to Marry that guy". He is currently engaged to someone else. That stings. How can that be? It is.
But, here's the thing, I HAD those experiences and they were magical, exciting, exhilarating and thrilling and conversely, they were devastating and heartbreaking and sad because they ended. Particularly not understanding how I could have absolute knowing that I was going to marry my photographer and not have it work out was mind blowing. I know with all my heart and soul that I will find the love that I am looking for and that I know is out there. I trust it, I believe it and I know it! These experiences allow me to know that. I trust the Universe, I trust fate and I trust destiny.
I am excited for the day that my romantic moment turns into a romantic story into a romantic wedding and continues into a romantic life full of love! I forgot it for awhile, but not for any longer. Love is awesome. Love is amazing and love can and will change the world!
Start today, start with loving yourself. Go within and have a love affair with yourself because then TRUE love will find you!
THIS is the kind of love I'm looking for. . . "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds." - The Notebook ---
and I'm starting by loving myself that way!
Friday, December 14, 2012
What Does the N.R.A. have to do with it?
Dear brother,
You and I have had trouble communicating since you stole my toy at the age of 18 months and our first fight ensued. We simply view the world in different ways, I react emotionally, while you react a bit more logically. I believe I tend to be a bit more optimistic, dreamy and vision board centric, while you are tech-saavy, logic based and gadget-centric. Neither of these outlooks are wrong, they just make us who we are. Colors of different people like your colors and mine are what make our world so interesting, fascinating, inspiring, enlightening and many other "ings" that I can't think of right now.
Today tragedy befell on a place that tragedy should never befall. Too poetic? Some asshole went into an elementary school and opened fire taking 27 souls from this world, 18 of them children. As is expected in this social media world, Twitter and Facebook lit up with opinions of people asking for stricter gun control, using the hashtag #NRA and #guncontrolnow. I was one of them. I posted on Facebook and Twitter, "The NRA may not have DONE this, but they sure make it a lot easier. Please, we don't NEED a gun that can fire 100 rounds in seconds. 18 children will never breathe again, but at least you have your automatic weapons." You posted, "There is no sense to be made of this, Political views or arguments are not going to help the victims and their families right now." And on Twitter you asked me, "What does the NRA have to do with this?" And our sister replied by posting a video of Kittens, because, well, she has her own colors and way of communicating and we love her for that!
I decided to write this because your question, "What does the NRA have to do with this?" got me thinking, do I really know why I want the NRA to back off? So I went to their website. To be honest with you, I was expecting a mission statement of sorts stating what they are about, but couldn't really find it. So I went to wikipedia, and this is what they say about the NRA.
"The National Rifle Association of America (NRA) is an American non-profit 501(c)(4) lobbying group[1][2] that advocates for the protection of the Second Amendment of the United States Bill of Rights, and the promotion of firearm ownership rights as well as marksmanship, firearm safety, and the protection of hunting and self-defense in the United States."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Rifle_Association
All of that is fine, and from their website it looks as though they have firearm safety courses and many other educational and positive aspects of their organization. The beef I have with the NRA lies in "The Institute for Legislative Action (ILA) which is the lobbying arm of the National Rifle Association of America" Who doesn't love a good lobbying group? This lobbying arm of the NRA is the exact reason that Political views play into this argument, because the NRA has made this a political argument. They repeatedly make it easier and easier for people to obtain semi-automatic weapons. I understand that there are people in this world who love to hunt and need guns to hunt, that's fine, I personally don't find any joy or pleasure in that hobby, but I don't want to begrudge anyone of their right to hunt. However, I don't think that any hunter goes out with a semi-automatic or an automatic weapon to take out Bambi. In fact in 2004, the NRA opposed the renewal of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban from 1994 which prohibited many features of semi- automatic weapons, they were successful in their opposition and the ban expired.
The bottom line is that these weapons are too easy to come by. James Holmes, the shooter in the movie theater in Colorado bought most of his weapons ONLINE, according to the Wall Street Journal, "the suspect bought four guns over the past 60 days, and over the Internet bought 3,000 rounds for an assault rifle, 3,000 rounds for Glock handguns and about 300 shotgun rounds. The suspect also had a 100-round drum-style magazine for the assault rifle that would have allowed him to fire 50 to 60 rounds a minute." (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000087239639044446430457754103267932...) ON THE INTERNET, with the click of a button, he bought all of that ammunition. It's just too easy to get your hands on.
Things need to change, something has to give. It's been over 10 years since the Columbine tragedy and we're STILL having this conversation. What can we do? How can we fix this? How do we make sure that this stops happening? We have to try something different, can't we try the one thing we haven't yet? Stricter gun control. Psych-evaluations for people who want guns. If we just made the process of obtaining weapons a little bit harder maybe we would see less violence of this sort? We won't know until we try.
I have never liked guns and I probably never will. They freak me out. You often hear, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, if a gun didn't have the ability to fire bullets at a high rate of speed that tear through bone, skin, human organs, blood vessels, and teeth, sometimes exploding on the inside, or sometimes exiting a body and lodging in a wall, I would say perhaps that argument holds some weight. If a crazed person wants to kill some people chances are they are probably going to kill some people, but its a lot easier to stop a person wielding a knife, a hammer, a handgun, then it is to stop someone who is shooting an assault rifle that shoots 50-60 rounds in a MINUTE. Guns were developed when we needed to hunt for survival, to protect us from war. It's time to evolve beyond needing or allowing the use of guns. A human life has to become more precious than your right to bear arms, or history is doomed to repeat itself over and over again.
Guns shouldn't launch such emotional arguments, people should not be so attached to their guns and their right to shoot things, animal or human, that when 18 innocent children lose their lives they are more concerned with their right to continue shooting instead of the rights that those 18 children will never have again, the right to live, breathe and go to school in a safe environment.
Love,
Your Sister
You and I have had trouble communicating since you stole my toy at the age of 18 months and our first fight ensued. We simply view the world in different ways, I react emotionally, while you react a bit more logically. I believe I tend to be a bit more optimistic, dreamy and vision board centric, while you are tech-saavy, logic based and gadget-centric. Neither of these outlooks are wrong, they just make us who we are. Colors of different people like your colors and mine are what make our world so interesting, fascinating, inspiring, enlightening and many other "ings" that I can't think of right now.
Today tragedy befell on a place that tragedy should never befall. Too poetic? Some asshole went into an elementary school and opened fire taking 27 souls from this world, 18 of them children. As is expected in this social media world, Twitter and Facebook lit up with opinions of people asking for stricter gun control, using the hashtag #NRA and #guncontrolnow. I was one of them. I posted on Facebook and Twitter, "The NRA may not have DONE this, but they sure make it a lot easier. Please, we don't NEED a gun that can fire 100 rounds in seconds. 18 children will never breathe again, but at least you have your automatic weapons." You posted, "There is no sense to be made of this, Political views or arguments are not going to help the victims and their families right now." And on Twitter you asked me, "What does the NRA have to do with this?" And our sister replied by posting a video of Kittens, because, well, she has her own colors and way of communicating and we love her for that!
I decided to write this because your question, "What does the NRA have to do with this?" got me thinking, do I really know why I want the NRA to back off? So I went to their website. To be honest with you, I was expecting a mission statement of sorts stating what they are about, but couldn't really find it. So I went to wikipedia, and this is what they say about the NRA.
"The National Rifle Association of America (NRA) is an American non-profit 501(c)(4) lobbying group[1][2] that advocates for the protection of the Second Amendment of the United States Bill of Rights, and the promotion of firearm ownership rights as well as marksmanship, firearm safety, and the protection of hunting and self-defense in the United States."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Rifle_Association
All of that is fine, and from their website it looks as though they have firearm safety courses and many other educational and positive aspects of their organization. The beef I have with the NRA lies in "The Institute for Legislative Action (ILA) which is the lobbying arm of the National Rifle Association of America" Who doesn't love a good lobbying group? This lobbying arm of the NRA is the exact reason that Political views play into this argument, because the NRA has made this a political argument. They repeatedly make it easier and easier for people to obtain semi-automatic weapons. I understand that there are people in this world who love to hunt and need guns to hunt, that's fine, I personally don't find any joy or pleasure in that hobby, but I don't want to begrudge anyone of their right to hunt. However, I don't think that any hunter goes out with a semi-automatic or an automatic weapon to take out Bambi. In fact in 2004, the NRA opposed the renewal of the Federal Assault Weapons Ban from 1994 which prohibited many features of semi- automatic weapons, they were successful in their opposition and the ban expired.
The bottom line is that these weapons are too easy to come by. James Holmes, the shooter in the movie theater in Colorado bought most of his weapons ONLINE, according to the Wall Street Journal, "the suspect bought four guns over the past 60 days, and over the Internet bought 3,000 rounds for an assault rifle, 3,000 rounds for Glock handguns and about 300 shotgun rounds. The suspect also had a 100-round drum-style magazine for the assault rifle that would have allowed him to fire 50 to 60 rounds a minute." (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000087239639044446430457754103267932...) ON THE INTERNET, with the click of a button, he bought all of that ammunition. It's just too easy to get your hands on.
Things need to change, something has to give. It's been over 10 years since the Columbine tragedy and we're STILL having this conversation. What can we do? How can we fix this? How do we make sure that this stops happening? We have to try something different, can't we try the one thing we haven't yet? Stricter gun control. Psych-evaluations for people who want guns. If we just made the process of obtaining weapons a little bit harder maybe we would see less violence of this sort? We won't know until we try.
I have never liked guns and I probably never will. They freak me out. You often hear, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, if a gun didn't have the ability to fire bullets at a high rate of speed that tear through bone, skin, human organs, blood vessels, and teeth, sometimes exploding on the inside, or sometimes exiting a body and lodging in a wall, I would say perhaps that argument holds some weight. If a crazed person wants to kill some people chances are they are probably going to kill some people, but its a lot easier to stop a person wielding a knife, a hammer, a handgun, then it is to stop someone who is shooting an assault rifle that shoots 50-60 rounds in a MINUTE. Guns were developed when we needed to hunt for survival, to protect us from war. It's time to evolve beyond needing or allowing the use of guns. A human life has to become more precious than your right to bear arms, or history is doomed to repeat itself over and over again.
Guns shouldn't launch such emotional arguments, people should not be so attached to their guns and their right to shoot things, animal or human, that when 18 innocent children lose their lives they are more concerned with their right to continue shooting instead of the rights that those 18 children will never have again, the right to live, breathe and go to school in a safe environment.
Love,
Your Sister
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Why not just do it?
Instead of asking myself what's with the no blogging? I figured, why not just do it?
My issue is that I think long and hard about what I want to write, what I want to say and how it can affect the world. . . which I think is getting way ahead of myself. Why not just write?
I am normally not one to watch the news, yet yesterday I couldn't seem to turn it off as I watched the powerful weather that was Hurricane Sandy make landfall in NYC. My sister lives in Willamsburg and I wanted to make sure that she was okay, but the images of cars floating in parking garages and water flooding the subway system are too unbelievable to turn off. At least all of those movie directors and screenwriters who had to hear, "That would never happen." or " That movie was so unrealistic, water flooding the subway?! No way." are now all sitting smuggly in their damp homes going, "I told you so."
I am thoroughly amazed that people are even still talking about the election. Granted its in one week and this is supposed to be closing argument time, but COME on people. You think President Obama actually has time to stop and think about his election right now? When millions of people without power, millions of people are trapped on an island and fatalities are being reported hourly that he is going to stop and say, aww man, I wish I was stumping in Ohio right now. That is not the kind of President I want, nor the kind of President that we need. Thankfully, Obama sprung into action and is already offering Federal aid to the states affected by this weather. If Romney were President we'd spend days waiting for Private companies to make the best bid before sending anyone in with aid.
I long for the day when humanity trumps economy. . . Trump, blech, he's gross, just check out his Twitter feed about how the hurricane is good luck for Obama and will help buy him the election.
The best news coming out of New York and the hard hit areas is that there has been no looting, no crime and no violence. Instead, reports are flowing in of kindness and generosity offered to those in need. Focus on that, focus on the love, the open hearts, the kindness from strangers and our world will grow up to be the world that everyone knows we can be.
Sending out love, light, peace, an open heart, and good thoughts to everyone in the storms path, whether you're dealing with destruction or bracing for rain.
Stay safe, stay warm, stay hugged.
My issue is that I think long and hard about what I want to write, what I want to say and how it can affect the world. . . which I think is getting way ahead of myself. Why not just write?
I am normally not one to watch the news, yet yesterday I couldn't seem to turn it off as I watched the powerful weather that was Hurricane Sandy make landfall in NYC. My sister lives in Willamsburg and I wanted to make sure that she was okay, but the images of cars floating in parking garages and water flooding the subway system are too unbelievable to turn off. At least all of those movie directors and screenwriters who had to hear, "That would never happen." or " That movie was so unrealistic, water flooding the subway?! No way." are now all sitting smuggly in their damp homes going, "I told you so."
I am thoroughly amazed that people are even still talking about the election. Granted its in one week and this is supposed to be closing argument time, but COME on people. You think President Obama actually has time to stop and think about his election right now? When millions of people without power, millions of people are trapped on an island and fatalities are being reported hourly that he is going to stop and say, aww man, I wish I was stumping in Ohio right now. That is not the kind of President I want, nor the kind of President that we need. Thankfully, Obama sprung into action and is already offering Federal aid to the states affected by this weather. If Romney were President we'd spend days waiting for Private companies to make the best bid before sending anyone in with aid.
I long for the day when humanity trumps economy. . . Trump, blech, he's gross, just check out his Twitter feed about how the hurricane is good luck for Obama and will help buy him the election.
The best news coming out of New York and the hard hit areas is that there has been no looting, no crime and no violence. Instead, reports are flowing in of kindness and generosity offered to those in need. Focus on that, focus on the love, the open hearts, the kindness from strangers and our world will grow up to be the world that everyone knows we can be.
Sending out love, light, peace, an open heart, and good thoughts to everyone in the storms path, whether you're dealing with destruction or bracing for rain.
Stay safe, stay warm, stay hugged.
Monday, October 29, 2012
What's with the absence from blogging?
What's with the absence from creating?
What's with the absence from writing?
Why is it that we go through these dry spells if you will?
Why is it that I will sit down and watch TV for a few hours and beat myself up while doing it because I'd rather be writing? (I'm very flexible)
What is it in me that loves to self sabotage?
Am I really just too hard on myself sometime, hey, I said sometime, not all of the time?
I can go through dry spells and then I can go through amazing bursts of creative inspiration.
Lately, I can get a burst of creative inspiration and not be able to write through the inspiration.
It's almost like there are so many ideas that I can't filter and focus on one, so I don't focus on any.
This is a sure-fire way to remain in this status quo of life that I have created and I have to tell you and me, me, are you listening? I won't stand for this. I won't stand for the status quo. Life is too short, life is too much fun and there's too much of everything to explore to sit inside beating myself up for not doing what my soul is craving to do. Craving to create. Craving to inspire. Craving to conquer success. Craving to make people laugh. Craving to find bliss in every, single, solitary, PRESENT moment.
I am.
What's with the absence from writing?
Why is it that we go through these dry spells if you will?
Why is it that I will sit down and watch TV for a few hours and beat myself up while doing it because I'd rather be writing? (I'm very flexible)
What is it in me that loves to self sabotage?
Am I really just too hard on myself sometime, hey, I said sometime, not all of the time?
I can go through dry spells and then I can go through amazing bursts of creative inspiration.
Lately, I can get a burst of creative inspiration and not be able to write through the inspiration.
It's almost like there are so many ideas that I can't filter and focus on one, so I don't focus on any.
This is a sure-fire way to remain in this status quo of life that I have created and I have to tell you and me, me, are you listening? I won't stand for this. I won't stand for the status quo. Life is too short, life is too much fun and there's too much of everything to explore to sit inside beating myself up for not doing what my soul is craving to do. Craving to create. Craving to inspire. Craving to conquer success. Craving to make people laugh. Craving to find bliss in every, single, solitary, PRESENT moment.
I am.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Celebrating my Freedom of Movement, Health and Wellness!
Today marks the One Year Anniversary of when I suffered a trimalleolar fracture of my left ankle. I was home in Colorado for a good friends wedding and was able to celebrate the 4th of July with my family! I usually work on the 4th of July, I usually don't bother too much with plans for the 4th. . . I enjoy, the 4th, but its not usually high on my list of MUST celebrate. As we relaxed in the backyard of my parents, hanging in our above ground pool, I was extra careful because I had a callback for a TIDE commercial the next day that I was so excited about. I was wearing a hat, had on extra sunscreen, just relaxing and enjoying the day. Breaking a bone NEVER crossed my mind.
We were messing around with a Slip n Slide that my sister had bought over Memorial Day weekend, we were being silly, doing somersaults, cartwheels, sliding on our feet . . . this was my downfall, I did a cartwheel, jumped and slid on my feet, somewhere in that process my ankle decided, eh, not gonna stand for that. I have never experienced pain like that, nor do I want to experience that every again. If I sit and recall the event I can actually feel the emotions, the pain and the panic that I felt that day. Don't worry, I only tried it once. . . like I said, I don't want to experience that again.
A year later, what did I learn?
This last weekend I was in Yosemite and as I scrambled up a creek, over rocks, headed towards an awesome waterfall, I had to take a moment to say Thank You. Thank you to the marvels of Modern Medicine, thank you to my body for its incredible healing power and thank you for forcing me to make this realization. . .
I Love, Honor and respect my freedom of Movement, Health and Wellness so much more than I did before!
I never realized before I couldn't walk, just how much I love walking. It sounds ridiculous, but its something that I know we all take for granted. I knew that I loved dancing, I knew that I loved swimming, I just didn't know that I LOVE the ability to walk around the block, loved the ability to carry a plate from the kitchen to the living room, and loved the ability to wear two shoes that match.
I learned that no matter what happens my family is going to be there for me. My parents both flew out to California and spent more than a week with me, taking care of me, making sure I was okay. My Mom was nice enough to fly with me to California so I could shoot a short film I had booked before. I was able to do the shoot on crutches, with a still broken ankle (we had to wait for the swelling to go down before we could do the surgery, so it was ACTUALLY still broken at this time). I made the decision to do the film because it felt like a very important thing that I had to do. It was statement to myself more than to anyone else that nothing was going to get in the way of my dreams and that I would be an actress no matter what. By far, this shoot was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I tried not to take my pain pills so my head was clear enough to act, but thinking about it today and how hard it was, I'm not sure that I would or could do it again. I've also yet to see the finished product of this film, which is beyond frustrating, but happens more than you would ever think in the Indie film making world
They supported me financially, emotionally and in every way possible and I will forever be grateful for their help, love and support. Not to mention the incredible speed, knowledge, grace and love with which I was whisked from a wet slip n slide, splinted with a blow up toy and some duct tape, a borrowed dress slipped over my head, a make shift chair carried me to the car that was waiting with pillows and all, ONLY to discover later at the hospital that my cousin Liberty had the wherewithal to grab a change of clothes for me before we left. My family are THE people to be around in a crisis!
I have a greater respect and love for my body and the incredible machine that it is. I went to Cardio Barre this morning to celebrate that one year later I am able to do most all of the things I did before I broke my ankle. While I was there I decided that I would spend the next four months working out often, going on long walks, taking care of the miraculous instrument that my body is and celebrating my freedom of movement. Four months is the length of time that I was on crutches, unable to put weight on my foot and frustrated.
Happy 4th of July. I hope you take some time today to remember all of the freedoms you take for granted everyday.
Love! Elizabeth
We were messing around with a Slip n Slide that my sister had bought over Memorial Day weekend, we were being silly, doing somersaults, cartwheels, sliding on our feet . . . this was my downfall, I did a cartwheel, jumped and slid on my feet, somewhere in that process my ankle decided, eh, not gonna stand for that. I have never experienced pain like that, nor do I want to experience that every again. If I sit and recall the event I can actually feel the emotions, the pain and the panic that I felt that day. Don't worry, I only tried it once. . . like I said, I don't want to experience that again.
A year later, what did I learn?
This last weekend I was in Yosemite and as I scrambled up a creek, over rocks, headed towards an awesome waterfall, I had to take a moment to say Thank You. Thank you to the marvels of Modern Medicine, thank you to my body for its incredible healing power and thank you for forcing me to make this realization. . .
I Love, Honor and respect my freedom of Movement, Health and Wellness so much more than I did before!
I never realized before I couldn't walk, just how much I love walking. It sounds ridiculous, but its something that I know we all take for granted. I knew that I loved dancing, I knew that I loved swimming, I just didn't know that I LOVE the ability to walk around the block, loved the ability to carry a plate from the kitchen to the living room, and loved the ability to wear two shoes that match.
I learned that no matter what happens my family is going to be there for me. My parents both flew out to California and spent more than a week with me, taking care of me, making sure I was okay. My Mom was nice enough to fly with me to California so I could shoot a short film I had booked before. I was able to do the shoot on crutches, with a still broken ankle (we had to wait for the swelling to go down before we could do the surgery, so it was ACTUALLY still broken at this time). I made the decision to do the film because it felt like a very important thing that I had to do. It was statement to myself more than to anyone else that nothing was going to get in the way of my dreams and that I would be an actress no matter what. By far, this shoot was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. I tried not to take my pain pills so my head was clear enough to act, but thinking about it today and how hard it was, I'm not sure that I would or could do it again. I've also yet to see the finished product of this film, which is beyond frustrating, but happens more than you would ever think in the Indie film making world
They supported me financially, emotionally and in every way possible and I will forever be grateful for their help, love and support. Not to mention the incredible speed, knowledge, grace and love with which I was whisked from a wet slip n slide, splinted with a blow up toy and some duct tape, a borrowed dress slipped over my head, a make shift chair carried me to the car that was waiting with pillows and all, ONLY to discover later at the hospital that my cousin Liberty had the wherewithal to grab a change of clothes for me before we left. My family are THE people to be around in a crisis!
I have a greater respect and love for my body and the incredible machine that it is. I went to Cardio Barre this morning to celebrate that one year later I am able to do most all of the things I did before I broke my ankle. While I was there I decided that I would spend the next four months working out often, going on long walks, taking care of the miraculous instrument that my body is and celebrating my freedom of movement. Four months is the length of time that I was on crutches, unable to put weight on my foot and frustrated.
Happy 4th of July. I hope you take some time today to remember all of the freedoms you take for granted everyday.
Love! Elizabeth
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